Thanks Zach… Los

He was alone. Had a bag. And was moaning and clapping uncontrollably.

I am keenly aware of my ignorance in the field of those with ]]> I could see him from the stage.
He was standing, barely.
His arms were bent in positions that they were not meant to bend…and staying there.
He was making moaning noises. More groaning than anything.
And from stage I could see saliva running from the bottom left part of his mouth.
Lot’s of saliva.
To where I could see a puddle forming at his feet.

He was alone.
Had a bag.
And was moaning and clapping uncontrollably.

I am keenly aware of my ignorance in the field of those with disabilities.
I simply knew he was disabled.
Similar to my friend with cerebral palsy I met a few years back.

After my set I walked over to my merch table and I could hear him coming.
“Just look him in the eye. Just smile.” I kept telling myself.
I also kept telling myself…”You obviously need to expand your friend list Carlos, cause this is a ridiculous conversation to be having with yourself right now”
Right away my 2 merch volunteers asked him if he wanted to buy a CD.
He simply kept staring at me and groaning.
He obviously wanted something.
So I walked to the other side elf the table and said…”Hey buddy. My name is Carlos”
Saliva was literally pouring and bubbling from his mouth as he got more and more agitated.
“What’s up buddy?” I asked him.
He got so agitated that he dropped his bag and everything fell out of it.
“Hey buddy. Do you mind if I give you a hug?”
I didn’t wait for an answer because I knew I wouldn’t be able to understand anyways.
The second I hugged my new friend he calmed down.
All I could feel was his breath slowing and his heartbeat pounding.
My shoulder was wet from his saliva and my nose smelt his unbathed skin and unwashed clothes.
But I just held him.
You know why?
Cause I had no idea what else to do.
After a good 15 seconds of hugging and him calming down I let him go and bent down to pick up all his stuff.
His wallet had fallen out of his bag and I opened it.
Will.
His name was Will.
I looked at him in the eye and said…”Will. Your name is Will. And Will, I needed that hug, more than you will know.”
Saliva stopped pouring from Will’s mouth and instead tears began to fall from Will’s face.
Will reached into his bag and pulled out $22 bucks.
My cd is $10 and my shirts are $12.
And it hit me.
Moments earlier he was a salivating special needs man with an obvious lack of mental capacity.
Now he was a man named Will.
A man who cried when I called him by his name, a man who can read the signs on my merch table, a man who can count money, and a man who obviously has the same mental capacity I do.

Will took a CD and shirt and stumbled off, but not before he groaned one more thing at me.
“I love you too Will”, I said… and he walked away.
I obviously have no idea what Will said to me before he walked off…
But I do know this…
Today there will be those you don’t understand, those who will disgust you for a moment, those who are desperate trying to tell you something…
And today all you need to do is realize…
They…Are…You…
It’s better that way…
Los

These are just a few of the ]]> “My wife and I have thought about adopting for a while.”
“I’ve always wanted to write a book.”
“I think I might ask her out.”
“Yea, next time I go to a show I’ll sponsor a Compassion child.”
“You know, I’m gonna finally tell my boss to chill out and treat us with respect.”
“Dude! The church I’m planting is going to feed the homeless every Saturday morning.”
“That’s it. I’m seriously going to drop everything and become a photographer.”

These are just a few of the lines I remember from conversations I have been part of or overheard (yes, I’m a stalker) the past few weeks.
Dreams are fuel.
They fuel us to victory.
But most of the time they stay just that.
Dreams.
I lived most of my life “about” to do something.
Then one day Heather and I decided to stop living almost and start living all out.
Since that decision we have adopted our son Losiah, climbed the highest peak in North America, Jumped out of airplanes, been on a reality show, moved across the country, quit my job, signed a record deal, traveled to Uganda, co lived with 3 families, and so much more.
I honestly don’t share that to brag.
It might sound miserable to most of you.
We have had our share of suck.
If you read our blogs you know.
But we also realized that the American dream of white picket fences and a 9-5 isn’t our shtick.
And here is the harder truth.
It isn’t a lot of yours either.
You are living in the myth that stability = simply and safely existing.

Those statements up top usually end a few months later with financial, lack of time, fear, and man power excuses.
Here’s the truth.
There will NEVER be enough money, time, or help.
Heather and I spend at least one night a week looking at the checking account and crying then laughing then crying.
I could get a job at a church and play it safe.
That would not be a bad decision.
It would be a great decision.
It just would not be the RIGHT decision, right now.
Because right now God has called me to pour into the global church and when that season is over, it would be a blessing to work in the local church again.
Just not now.
And so we pray, fast, hustle, laugh, and cry.
And inside all of that, we live.

I’m willing to bet a lot of you are ready for an adventure.
So what is it?
What are you going to do this week to take that one step away from safety and towards calling?
Los

I tweeted this 2 days ago…

Surround yourself with those who haven’t drank your koolaid.

I’m sure your koolaid is tasty. I’m sure your koolaid is the special sauce. But when everyone around you is drunk on your junk then you turn into an accidental dictator. Accidental because those who are blitzed with your ritz don’t know it. They laugh at your jokes when they are not funny. They will choose your ]]>

I tweeted this 2 days ago…

Surround yourself with those who haven’t drank your koolaid.

I’m sure your koolaid is tasty. I’m sure your koolaid is the special sauce.
But when everyone around you is drunk on your junk then you turn into an accidental dictator.
Accidental because those who are blitzed with your ritz don’t know it.
They laugh at your jokes when they are not funny.
They will choose your idea just because you are in the room.
They will soon stop thinking and just start doing.
Accidental because you may not even want it, but you are being shielded from reality.

So if you are a leader, and you all are…
Just make sure someone else is bartending at the party that is your life.
It’s better that way…
Los

This kid deserves an Oscar. More than 5 children die everyday as a result of abuse. That’s 5 kids too many. How has abuse impacted your life? Has it or have you been lucky? Los

When I walked out of the bedroom, down the hallway, and into the living room, there she was. Face down on the ground. Palms facing towards the sky. “I really don’t have time for this” I thought to myself. But how was I supposed to see my wife facedown before the Lord and not, myself, do the same? So down I went. And it wasn’t even 45 seconds. But this is what I prayed… “God. I’m overwhelmed. ]]>

When I walked out of the bedroom, down the hallway, and into the living room, there she was.
Face down on the ground.
Palms facing towards the sky.
“I really don’t have time for this” I thought to myself.
But how was I supposed to see my wife facedown before the Lord and not, myself, do the same?
So down I went.
And it wasn’t even 45 seconds.
But this is what I prayed…
“God. I’m overwhelmed. Like seriously overwhelmed. I’m not in control anymore. Please be in control. I give up.”
I stood up, kissed the fam, walked out the door, and drove to the gas station.
There was nothing about my pump partner that screamed racist.
It was a Nissan Pathfinder not a Ford F150.
But I could literally FEEL him staring a hole through the back of my neck.
It’s funny.
I don’t know what it is, but, I can just TELL when someone is hating on my pigment.
And I could tell.
Finally, after 45 seconds I turned around and looked at him.
He was still staring.
I wanted to say “WHAT?!” but simply smiled and looked back down.
A few seconds later he got in his truck, rolled forward a few feet, rolled down his window and…
“Go Home !#$@ Nigger”
It wasn’t even a yell. A scream. Which caught me off guard.
When this has happened before it was more of an announcement to the world of the individuals ignorance.
This was different.
If he could have whispered it he would have.
It was just for me.
In .5 seconds he peeled out.
In 1.5 seconds I was right behind him driving east on 40.
What was I planning on doing?
I have no idea.
All I could think about was just one good punch in the face.
I probably gave pursuit for 30 seconds.
30 seconds of self dripping, anger filled pursuit.
Then, almost audibly…
“You got on your face this morning and told me I am in control, yet here you are trying to be in control…”
And I eased off the gas.
My heart was racing.
I had to take a hit off my inhaler.

Today alone…
I have 3 chapters due to my editor for the book I think is going to not only wreck your lives in a fantastic way, but the lives of millions of unsuspecting Ragamuffins.
I have meetings with Discovery Show producers on something that could change my life.
I have a worship leading livestream tonight where I’m praying to encourage hundreds of worshippers.
And I’m chasing an ignorant, small minded, small you know what, idiot.

So today, whatever is thrown your way, remember…
Jesus gets back up on Sunday.
We win.
Eyes gazing at God while glancing at life…
Los

When I was in 1st grade I tried to kiss Mary Helen Addison on the playground of Rehoboth Elementary School. She got away. When I was in 3rd grade I actually kissed Mary Helen Addison on the playground of Rehoboth Elementary School. She made me give her my favorite scratch and sniff sticker. When I was in 4th grade Mrs. Buchannan cut her thumb off in the paper cutter. I never used a paper ]]>

When I was in 1st grade I tried to kiss Mary Helen Addison on the playground of Rehoboth Elementary School.
She got away.
When I was in 3rd grade I actually kissed Mary Helen Addison on the playground of Rehoboth Elementary School.
She made me give her my favorite scratch and sniff sticker.
When I was in 4th grade Mrs. Buchannan cut her thumb off in the paper cutter.
I never used a paper cutter again.
When I was in 6th grade all the girls started getting boobs and stuff.
I popped every girls bra strap in one day and got in lots of trouble.

What are some elementary school moments you will never forget?
Los

Full Moon Silhouettes from Mark Gee on Vimeo.

Full Moon Silhouettes is a real time video of the moon rising over the Mount Victoria Lookout in Wellington, New Zealand. People had gathered up there this night to get the best view possible of the moon rising.

Sometimes in order for others to see God, just to stop talking and let them look around ]]>

Full Moon Silhouettes from Mark Gee on Vimeo.

Full Moon Silhouettes is a real time video of the moon rising over the Mount Victoria Lookout in Wellington, New Zealand. People had gathered up there this night to get the best view possible of the moon rising.

Sometimes in order for others to see God, just to stop talking and let them look around you…
Los

You can have a father like I did who prayed for me everyday I was growing up. I struggled with porn for years of my life.

You can be the safest driver in the world. There is only a yellow line separating you from the unsafest driver in the world.

You can be committed to preaching Jesus every Sunday and see no growth in attendance. The church down the street that preaches more on how ]]>

You can have a father like I did who prayed for me everyday I was growing up.
I struggled with porn for years of my life.

You can be the safest driver in the world.
There is only a yellow line separating you from the unsafest driver in the world.

You can be committed to preaching Jesus every Sunday and see no growth in attendance.
The church down the street that preaches more on how to get out of debt than Jesus is breaking attendance records in your city.

You can take your daughter on Daddy/Daughter dates every week till she is 16.
You are still no threat to the charismatic charmer who will woo your daughter with texts and charm.

You can pray for your spouse everyday for years.
They still may leave with that other person.

You can be the most gifted songwriter on the planet.
You will get passed over every time for the one who shows a bit more leg.

You can eat healthy and exercise everyday of your adult life.
Cancer doesn’t care when it hits at 40.

You see we are only in control on one thing.
Whats that thing?
That thing is called NOW.
You aren’t in control of what will happen in 5 minutes.
But you are in control of what will happen right NOW.

So when this broken world decides to show you how broken it is…
Choose NOW instead of Then or When.

Because Then is dead and When may not happen.
But NOW is here and so are you.
It’s better that way.
Los