Dear God… If You are in control, then why does life suck so bad?

Dear God.
You are in control.
You are sovereign.
This is what the Bible tells me.
This is what the preacher told me on Sunday.
But you see it’s not Sunday.
It’s Thursday.
There isn’t a pew I can sit in today.

Today I simply can’t breathe

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow the checking account is going to look like this so we gotta make the groceries, and gas last…

Today I also can’t drive very far because my back tire looks like this…

And my gas looks like this…

Today my 10 year old daughter cried when I told her I had to work all night and wasn’t coming home…
So that I can buy my asthma medicine, put gas in the car, get a new back tire, and catch the checking account back up.

You see God…
Sunday it all seemed so pretty and had a nice bow on the top of my faith.
Today it looks like someone stepped on it.

So here’s what I’m thinking…

You just continue being You…
The one who gave us another months rent.
The one who delivered a child from Korea to bless my life with.
The one who has continually provided us another month of money to to live on since I decided to work for the global church and not the local one.
The one who miraculously healed my marriage when no one thought it could be.
The one who has blessed me with the 2 most beautiful daughters on the planet.
The one who moved us to Nashville to find a community that has called us family since day one.
The one who rescued my soul from the stench of sin and despair only to wrap your arms of love around it.

Yea. That you.
You keep being that God and I’ll stop complaining.
Deal?
Cool.
Cause I know you never stopped being that God in the first place.
Los

PS. This post wasn’t written for pity but rather for those of you facing a crappy day. We all have them. Just remember the good days on the bad ones. K?!!!

http://jennyrain.com Jenny

Praying for you and your family today Carlos… for an abundance of God’s Presence, peace, joy… and also some provision to be dropped to you as well Hope that’s ok…

Peace+

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

Thanks Jenny!
Jimbo

Let’s not forget God’s control is a choice we must make. Love can’t exist without choice. And choice is a gift from God. Our choices control our lives.

Marc

Thanks for reminding me that its ok to not always be ok. and that God is still God and thats what matters.

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

Amen

berto

If there is a god,it could care less.An absent landlord.It is a silly sad concept.Religion ruins everything.Ban it and these silly thoughts of talking snakes and miracles.Be an adult.Think and use your brain.When these dumb stories were written people had the education of a 2nd grader.Of course they believed this foolish stuff.There would be no sick or sadness.Please spare me the Satan stuff too.Just more silly stuff.A guy in a red suit with horns.REALLY?We may soon have a new nut in the white house that believes in a planet called”Kalob”behind the sun were God lives.I wish it was a joke but people will vote for this crackpot.Life sucks because it just does and mankind is way to stupid to admit it.These kooks on television claiming to be doing miracles should be banned.How about fixing that sad comb over first?A real shame.

Rae-Ann

when life is kicking my ass, I think ..Oh wait…I forgot….He will never let me down.
Hang in there

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

I’ll be fine! One bad day can’t replace the 324345252 good ones!

Jesse

Hang in there los.

P.S. I called 324345252 and it was a bad number.

Joan Ball

Here’s where some corners of the church miss something that seems pretty self-evident. Yes, I will pray for you and your family. That said, I have my daily bread and a little more today. No money in a retirement account. No money socked away for my kids’ college. No cash for creature comforts. But I want you to send me a link to your Paypal anyway. And Martin and I will send you some money for the meds (can’t cover all of it, but we’ll make a dent). And maybe someday when I have no money for meds, or gas, or something else, someone will ask for my PayPal (or not). And suddenly they Kingdom come had, indeed, come. I’ll be waiting for that email, Carlos…

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

Damn you Joan. You always mess me up. for years…

Joan Ball

Blame the Holy Spirit. I’m just along for the ride. Now send me that PayPal info…

http://heightsoflove.com Rebecca

Beautiful. This is the Church.

https://www.facebook.com/rickytes Richard Tesorio

God does and always will provide. I’ve been dealing with the same thing this week with being so high on Sunday and feeling like I just got kicked down in the middle of the week and I’m still feeling it.

Just like you reminded yourself of what God has done so far, he’ll come through again so you can praise him even more. I’ll have to do the same for me because I know he’ll turn it into good so I can tell everyone of how he provides once again.
Bri

Thanks for posting this! I’m there. Due to some unfortunate circumstances we are losing our house, and moving tomorrow. I’m freaking out because I don’t work, only my husband does. I go I school full time and next week is my first national board exam. I’m afraid I’m going to do well because of the move and the fact that getting out of here on time has taken over my study time. I’m afraid my kid isn’t going to adjust to the move well. I know I’m supposed to be faithful and trust God but right now I’m stressed, I’m not seeing the other side of this yet. But, thank you for reminding me he stays the same all the time and keeps his end of the bargain even when being a sucky child of his.
http://www.vpleonard.com V

Wow…thanks for that, Los. I totally need to hear that for my own drama…and sorry things are rough for you guys right now too!

Praying.

~V
http://www.mustardseedyear.com Jason

Praying for you Los.
Dawn Thomas

We have been in your situation many times in the past. Thankfully my husband has gotten a new job working for the state. We are not rich by any means, but I would like to help you and your family. Please send me your mailing address to my email; d.thomas2003@yahoo.com and I’ll get a money order from USPS out in mail tomorrow.

God bless you Los. You and your family have always been an inspiration to me and mine.
Chris

Thanks for your vulnerability, Carlos. We need more of that in the Kingdom. Amazing witness of stalwart faith. I pray relief soon from all of the stress that those pictures signify.
Tara

Thank you, not that I ever like to see others go through hard times but sometimes it helps to know you are not alone and we are all trying to make it in this crazy world.

http://heightsoflove.com Rebecca

Amen! #ShareSomethingReal

http://jonathanmadrid.com Jonathan Madrid

I just tweeted this, but I love your transparency bro, wish more leaders and influencers would talk this way. Praying for you man.
http://www.mohan37.com mo

At least I’m here to provide the laughs, which is some kind of blessing.

Praying for your fam … we’ve all had those moments of poopstorm.
http://danielmccullough.virb.com Daniel McCullough

Los, thats great stuff. I’m in my first year in the ministry, in my first 6 months of marriage, wife is unemployed, debt out my ears and nose, and for the first time in our marriage our checking account is way overdrawn and pay day couldnt be any closer. But for the past month I have been preaching a sermon of Faith in the Storm, and would you know that the last point i wanted the YOUTH to understand I think hit ME harder, and that was to just simply know Christ and His faithfulness. You have obviously found that in your place of ministry, in your kids and your marriage. I am praying for you! And to those who have asked for his PayPal, thank you! You dont know want it means to us to receive an anonymous check to bless us in a time of need! Just want you to know that I look up to you and how Christ has been, and is using you in your ministry!
Greg

A good friend that has since gone to be with Jesus asked me this question one day when life absolutely sucked:

“What part of this surprised God?”

His wife said the same thing to me the morning he died of a sudden heart attack.

It’s perspective.

God’s never late – it’s just that His plan and timing are probably different than ours.

Praying.
Elizabeth Birak

Los, I connect with what you’ve shared here because I’ve been there so many times myself. What I appreciate so much is your willingness to share this. I’ve always been afraid to be this honest about struggling financially because I didn’t want people to think I was just irresponsible (which we both know is not true).

Can you please send me your PayPal info as well? I am praying for you and your family. I look up to you so much.

Could you pray for my family as well? My husband and I pastor a little church in northern Canada. We are really isolated and have been going through a difficult couple years. The most recent hurdle is that I have to have back surgery and have to travel 15 hours to the nearest hospital in my province to have it. There’s a lot more, too, but I don’t want to write a book.

Anyway, keep at it. We need you. And seriously. Send me your PayPal info.
BriAnne

You tweeted this a bit ago:
Be still and know He is God

this is a phrase I had to be reminded of daily when things got super crazy in my world.. it’s a wonderful thing to remember when things get really rough.. I was told it more as basically- stop, shut up, tell God about it and then let HIM deal with it.. you can’t do anything, so stop trying.. He’ll get you through it.. you may not see how or when, but He will.. so be thankful you’re alive today, be thankful for the good things, and knock off the complaining..

best kick in the rear ever.. and glad I had someone who told it to me all the time.. we all need someone like that in our lives.. and you Los, appear to have a few who do so… praise God for those people.. and I’ll be praying for you and yours as well..
Marla

I am sorry for your situation. But why would you have posted all this, especially your bank account balance, if you were not looking for financial help? Maybe a few less of your “toys” would add to your account.,

Elizabeth Birak

This makes my heart hurt. Please don’t pretend you know him, his family, and spending habits because you see a few pictures on Facebook, twitter, or instagram. Not that that would give you a reason to judge anyway.

This ish is why Christians can’t be honest. Sharing stories of struggle must mean the person is either desperate for attention or manipulating you to get something from you. Ugh.

Or, maybe they’re looking for support. Or declaring that even in times of trouble, God is faithful. Or being honest about their struggle so others feel comfortable to share their pain. You know- actually live life together as the body of Christ the way God planned for us. Authenticity isn’t always pretty.

But you’re right. It’s probably about the few bucks people want to give him on PayPal. Since that was his idea and all.
http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

Thanks for your thoughts.
I’ve been telling these truths for years.
The bank account will be back in a day.
But its not there today.
Read the comments.
Those are why I shared…
John

WOW… My reaction to this post was a lot like my road rage. At first, I’m angry, down right pissed at the person driving around me like, as I describe, “an idiot”, then I realize that maybe they are just having a bad day and are taking that frustration out on others.

So that being said, I’m sorry that whatever you are going through needs to be taken out on Los and his simple sharing of himself and his situation. Like him, I’ve seen many highs and lows, in finance and in other things.

I hope that next time you’re at a low point, someone has the courage and the love and compassion to reach out to you and just help, any way they can, whether with money or prayers or just being a shoulder to cry on. We all need that every once in a while. So I choose to give something to Los and his family because knowing him, just as little as I do, if I reached out to him, he’d be there for me in any way he possibly could. He’s that type of man and I hope that one day I can be as well.
Tiffani Brown

Marla,
The funny thing about following Christ is that sometimes in some situations it “seems” to others that there are other motives.
I have found it happens often. I like to think that is the voice of the enemy bringing dissention among the body of Christ. But i’ll save that post for another day

I am positive that Carlos could tell us story after story of when God asked him to do something and he said Yes and then God provided.
Yesterday’s “yes” happened to be to be transparent and post his heart on his blog. And God provided. God also used that “yes” to minister to people yesterday.
But i guarantee you that there have been plenty of times that Carlos’ “Yes” left not a soul knowing his financial or emotional status. That Carlos “yes” ministered to people and that for a moment he thought “Lord, i said yes, but if these people don’t know im broke/broken how are you supposed to bless me” and that God, in all of his miraculous wonder, STILL provided. In fact, if Carlos’ relationship with the Lord is anything like mine, i feel as if there has been times when God called him, Los hesitated, maybe even said no, and God provided.

The thing about my God is that His love and provision is NOT conditional. It is not conditional on Carlos obedience, it is not conditional on your approval, or anyone else’s for that matter.
But one of the things i LOVE about my God is how he rewards our obedience. How he reminds us that He is faithful. And encourages us to keep being faithful and saying yes to Him!

Pingback: My Afternoon with Loswhit « The Edward Life Project
Breanne Blanchard

Sometimes you just need to know you aren’t alone…..
I have been way over using my inhaler (which now is out) and my nebulizer because I haven’t been able to afford my Advair. Today, on the way to MOPS, the last piece of my beat up, but paid off!, car fell off…..oh and I battle depression and anxiety too. My bank account isn’t in the red today, but it has been plenty of times. You aren’t alone….always love your honesty. Prayin for you! It kinda sucks not being able to breathe…
beard_brain

You really let God off the hook there. I was raised to apologize for God my whole life. Just when I am on the precipice of real answers to my most honest questions I short circuit the process by defending Him with anecdotal, reflex responses because I don’t want to seem ungrateful or like I’m second guessing the almighty’s way of doing things because after all He is right no matter what. He has blessed you with many things but just maybe the honest questions are the key to the escape from the hamster wheel of dissatisfaction and inner longing for more attentiveness out of Him. I know I sound like a douche but what is more unsatisfying than a relationship where you have to continually remind the other person that you feel overwhelmed and your needs are unmet. The people are really gracious to send money, and I’m sure you’ll say that was God looking out for you, but my wife would kick my ass if I strung her out shitty day after shitty day to prove a point that I’m really awesome when she gets to the end of her rope. MY QUESTION: “God after all these years I still get anxiety. If you have been everything that you say you are, why is it not getting any easier to trust you? Thanks for the money.” I will short circuit now “His ways are higher than mine, I just need to have more faith.”
Barry Sims

Hey Carlos, could you call me please? I emailed my phone number to your loswhit@gmail.com account this morning.

Thanks, Barry
http://www.crittyjoy.com Christy

Thanks for the reminder of this today… just emailed a friend earlier telling her of what a shitty day this had been. (okay it’s been a shitty few months) and to come here and read this and remember not all days are like this and tomorrow is new and He is good…even when I forget.
http://inspiredrd.com Alysa

How did you know to post this today? I needed it. Thank you.
Christi

Carlos
I work in Ministry myself. I enjoyed your honesty. On my bad days. I always remember there are always people worse off than me and then I fall to my knees and praise God for each and everyday I have on earth. Then I begin to pray for all those hurting, just like yourself.
Hydeny

right there with ya on this one!!!!
http://geoffreyshafer.wordpress.com Geoff Shafer

Thank you for posting this Los. As a stay at home dad of two who’s bank account is almost always there, it’s encouraging to know I’m not alone. Your posts about depression and other struggles have helped me to know that it’s ok to be a Christian and have problems and also to talk about them. Thanks again.
Keaton

I spare you pity and all the I’m sorry’s. I just want to say thank you! A BIG THANK YOU! I often wonder the same thing; why life sucks. Sometimes I’m sooo ready for Heaven.

But thank you for your honesty and for being so transparent. I followed your wife’s blog for as long as I could. I related to it so much. I moved from the south to the west coast and you allowed to the south via the west coast. My husband is a worship leader and wears so many hats.

We do the best we can listening to the Spirit and trying our best to follow the heart of Jesus. Some days I struggle, barely staying afloat, never can we get ahead. Then I read all these ‘Christian’ books, follow all the ‘famous’ pastors and worship leaders on twitter. I sometimes compare my life to their’s and it seems like they have got it made. What am I doing that’s so wrong.

Since your wife discontinued her blog I often wondered how the Whittakers were doing. So I started following yours. I still relate the most to you and your family and I actually find comfort in your bank account and your broke down car! I can soooo relate! It’s been a entire year where people call us Job. It’s been tough.

Thanks for this post! (Sorry I just wrote a book,)
Laurie

My husband is a bi-vocational pastor and I work as a lunch lady at a local elementary. To say that we struggle financially is an understatement. We live simply and I strive to live by the motto of “waste not, want not”. We literally fall into the definition of poverty.

My husband had a heart attack and six stents places in
2009. We will never play off all the bills. I have some pretty bom-digity anxiety issues and chronic pain problems. I’ve recently had to drop my insurance because it became too costly. Our 13 year old daughter has recently followed in my mental illness footsteps. It’s been difficult to watch.

But we are blessed. Sweet Jesus, your blessing overflow on us. For the past 17 years I have been married to a man who loves me with passion and vigor. He makes my heart quicken and I love him so. We have three children that don’t mind being poor. They don’t have the gadgets and trinkets that their friends do and they don’t complain.

My husband and I give each other pep talks. We tell each other that everything is going to be alright. Just the other day we discussed that following God’s will is all that matters. Not riches, fame, nor creature comforts matter. All that matters is God and all else is secondary.

To be honest with you, Carlos, at times you annoy me. But that’s okay. LOL! It’s good to be challenged. It keeps me on my toes. But today you’ve given me exactly what I needed to hear. To me you are a “star”. You have albums, a blog that people scramble to follow, nice things that I’ll never afford and you travel to places I can only dream of going to. I’ve seen you as a rock star, as a super Christian, as the popular dude that everyone likes, but I’ve yet to see you as human. Today that changed. Today we are both pilgrims seeking their God in situations where you feel alone. Thank you for that.
http://foodjournalcorifraser.blogspot.ca/ Cori

so glad I’m not alone…thanks for the courage to share – the good and the bad.
http://megandillon.blogspot.com Megan

Thank you for sharing this. I am in the EXACT same place you are and feeling very discouraged. I needed your perspective today. God bless!
Ebbie C

Hi Los. I dont know you at all and I have just recently started reading your blog and I just want to say THANK YOU! As much pride as men have I know it took more than courage, but divine leading to write a post like this and be completely transparent. I know God lead me to read this because I have been struggling with being open and telling my story. Scared of what people will think or say or how they would treat me. I have concluded from reading all of your comments (the nice and the hurtful) that it doesn’t matter. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Thanks for your obedience. When we really understand that this life is not about us I think we can start living like our story isn’t our to tell anyway. We are all just vessels, instruments, billboards, and arrows that point to Jesus.
I will be praying for your family. I pray that God give you courage to continue in this mission and to fight even when things get dim in your life. I pray that even when you can not trace God’s hand that you trust his heart. I pray that you find rest and peace in God and love flows out of your heart like a river. I pray that compassion unleashes into your life and that you walk into divine alignment. I know this may sound weird but I love you! LOL The Jesus in me loves the Jesus in you and I speak peace over your finances and healing over anything in your life that is broken. Thanks for this lesson. You never know the unsuspecting lives you change just by walking in obedience. Be Blessed!
http://themadhattermemoirs.wordpress.com/ Jonathan Montan

Been going thru some tough times. Thanks for this.
Kim

Wow!!! transparency in the Christian “community”!!! Certainly God is pleased!! Only when we share our struggles and where we find our strength can others see HIM at work. Can’t wait to hear how He will provide for you Carlos and your family…..cause he ALWAYS does!!
Stephanie

Wow, this is so totally spot on for what’s going on in our family, too. Too many bills to pay, not enough money to pay them. Car needs new tires and now the car makes a loud squeaking noise when you first pull out. GREAT!

Oh yeah…and >$1000 of anesthesiologist bill from March of this year to pay off from my 4 yr old’s surgery to put tubes in her ears. 45 min in the hospital total and just the anesthesiologist was $1200!
http://www.chadmillerblog.com Chad Miller

We hear people say way to often, “I don’t pray… I don’t know how.”
Brother, this is how you pray. This is for everyone who believes you have to use fancy words like thee and thou.
Great post, Carlos!
http://stevecrutchfield.com steve

that’s wuts up…be you…
http://www.inspiteofallthedamage.com Juliet deWal

Yes.
Oh, yes.
http://Facebook.com/aaronlongworship Aaron

I’m not much of one for emotions however, this post and all of it’s comments have my eyes welling up and being over taken. But, not simply overtaken by emotion. Overtaken by the goodness of a God that loves, provides, and restores over and over again.

I am currently in this very sucky situation. Bills that need to be paid, gas that needs to be put in the car, breaks that need replacing, plus planning a wedding that’s to happen in less than 12 months. Both my personal and business (band) account look similar to this.

It’s in these times when I am truly reminded of God’s goodness and my desperate utter dependence on Him.

Thank you for being transparent. It’s a needed thing. We all need to know that it’s alright to bleed. It’s ok to be in a bad place. Just don’t dwell in that bad place.

I know you’re swamped with your new EP coming out tomorrow but, would you email me? I have some insight I’d like to get from you. I know this is probably a stretch because you probably have tons of people asking this very thing but, I would greatly appreciate it!

Thanks man!

Aaron

aaronlongbooking@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003406914734 Alexandr

I am one of those christians who balttes with the command GO. I have so many ideas that would help my church grow tremendously, but my church is very small and there are not many youth advocates that would help bring my ideas to fruition. So, I choose to stay where I am due to the lack of help and motivaiton within my church. I am just stuck between a rock and a hard place and I don’t know what to do.
Absolutely

certainly the truth.
angelseeker

cant tell help how to help you!! The truth is in my heart now if i can quiet my mind to see and hear the signs that have been all around me but cud never see peace
http://www.facebook.com/todd.bedusek Todd Bedusek

athiest here god sux
wanda mcleod

Thank u just googled why dose my life suck, never really though anything would come up…but u did thanks again!!!!!
burat

God is sucks like everyone of us so stop complaining cock suckers you suck more than God sucks
j

Made my day, thanks
http://twitter.com/Portlandmindful Portland Mindfulness

I don’t know much about God but I do know that life sucks because our minds suck. We have the ability to learn not to take our minds seriously, and that is the answer to the suckage. God, if He exists, probably would prefer we solve the suck problem on our own if we can, because He is probably incredibly busy running the universe, and He would know that we have the ability within ourselves to deal with the mind He gave us skillfully. If He exists. See my blog post on Why Life Sucks So Bad. http://portlandmindful.com/pain-and-suffering/why-your-life-sucks-so-bad/#.UWWanqvwJZo
Cjl0719

I guess that I am in the same place as a lot of people commenting on this. I googled “why does my life suck so much?” and expected some yahoo discussion to pop up. When I saw this I was shocked. It reminded me that everything is in God’s hands. I have been depressed and haven’t had the strength to remind myself that he is always there for me. He will never give us any more than we can handle. In fact, I already know that what I am going through will make me stronger.
I prayed for the first time in a long time today. Well for more than just helping me do well on an exam with a crazy professor.
Basically what I am trying to say is thank you for sharing. It turned my day around. One good day leads to another… And today will be good.

Carlos Whittaker

Dear God… If You are in control, then why does life suck so bad?

Subscribe

Get Connected

Keep in Touch

Most Recent