Posted by loswhit in Authenticity

Dear God.
You are in control.
You are sovereign.
This is what the Bible tells me.
This is what the preacher told me on Sunday.
But you see it’s not Sunday.
It’s Thursday.
There isn’t a pew I can sit in today.

Today I simply can’t breathe

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow the checking account is going to look like this so we gotta make the groceries, and gas last…

Today I also can’t drive very far because my back tire looks like this…

And my gas looks like this…


Today my 10 year old daughter cried when I told her I had to work all night and wasn’t coming home…
So that I can buy my asthma medicine, put gas in the car, get a new back tire, and catch the checking account back up.

You see God…
Sunday it all seemed so pretty and had a nice bow on the top of my faith.
Today it looks like someone stepped on it.

So here’s what I’m thinking…

You just continue being You…
The one who gave us another months rent.
The one who delivered a child from Korea to bless my life with.
The one who has continually provided us another month of money to to live on since I decided to work for the global church and not the local one.
The one who miraculously healed my marriage when no one thought it could be.
The one who has blessed me with the 2 most beautiful daughters on the planet.
The one who moved us to Nashville to find a community that has called us family since day one.
The one who rescued my soul from the stench of sin and despair only to wrap your arms of love around it.

Yea.  That you.
You keep being that God and I’ll stop complaining.
Deal?
Cool.
Cause I know you never stopped being that God in the first place.
Los

PS.  This post wasn’t written for pity but rather for those of you facing a crappy day.  We all have them.  Just remember the good days on the bad ones.  K?!!!

  • http://jennyrain.com Jenny

    Praying for you and your family today Carlos… for an abundance of God’s Presence, peace, joy… and also some provision to be dropped to you as well :) Hope that’s ok…

    Peace+

    • http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

      Thanks Jenny!

    • Jimbo

      Let’s not forget God’s control is a choice we must make. Love can’t exist without choice. And choice is a gift from God. Our choices control our lives.

  • Marc

    Thanks for reminding me that its ok to not always be ok. and that God is still God and thats what matters.

    • http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

      Amen

      • berto

        If there is a god,it could care less.An absent landlord.It is a silly sad concept.Religion ruins everything.Ban it and these silly thoughts of talking snakes and miracles.Be an adult.Think and use your brain.When these dumb stories were written people had the education of a 2nd grader.Of course they believed this foolish stuff.There would be no sick or sadness.Please spare me the Satan stuff too.Just more silly stuff.A guy in a red suit with horns.REALLY?We may soon have a new nut in the white house that believes in a planet called”Kalob”behind the sun were God lives.I wish it was a joke but people will vote for this crackpot.Life sucks because it just does and mankind is way to stupid to admit it.These kooks on television claiming to be doing miracles should be banned.How about fixing that sad comb over first?A real shame.

  • Rae-Ann

    when life is kicking my ass, I think ..Oh wait…I forgot….He will never let me down.
    Hang in there :)

    • http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

      I’ll be fine! One bad day can’t replace the 324345252 good ones!

      • Jesse

        Hang in there los.

        P.S. I called 324345252 and it was a bad number.

  • Joan Ball

    Here’s where some corners of the church miss something that seems pretty self-evident. Yes, I will pray for you and your family. That said, I have my daily bread and a little more today. No money in a retirement account. No money socked away for my kids’ college. No cash for creature comforts. But I want you to send me a link to your Paypal anyway. And Martin and I will send you some money for the meds (can’t cover all of it, but we’ll make a dent). And maybe someday when I have no money for meds, or gas, or something else, someone will ask for my PayPal (or not). And suddenly they Kingdom come had, indeed, come. I’ll be waiting for that email, Carlos…

    • http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

      Damn you Joan. You always mess me up. for years…

      • Joan Ball

        Blame the Holy Spirit. I’m just along for the ride. Now send me that PayPal info…

        • http://heightsoflove.com Rebecca

          Beautiful. This is the Church.

  • https://www.facebook.com/rickytes Richard Tesorio

    God does and always will provide. I’ve been dealing with the same thing this week with being so high on Sunday and feeling like I just got kicked down in the middle of the week and I’m still feeling it.

    Just like you reminded yourself of what God has done so far, he’ll come through again so you can praise him even more. I’ll have to do the same for me because I know he’ll turn it into good so I can tell everyone of how he provides once again.

  • Bri

    Thanks for posting this! I’m there. Due to some unfortunate circumstances we are losing our house, and moving tomorrow. I’m freaking out because I don’t work, only my husband does. I go I school full time and next week is my first national board exam. I’m afraid I’m going to do well because of the move and the fact that getting out of here on time has taken over my study time. I’m afraid my kid isn’t going to adjust to the move well. I know I’m supposed to be faithful and trust God but right now I’m stressed, I’m not seeing the other side of this yet. But, thank you for reminding me he stays the same all the time and keeps his end of the bargain even when being a sucky child of his.

  • http://www.vpleonard.com V

    Wow…thanks for that, Los. I totally need to hear that for my own drama…and sorry things are rough for you guys right now too!

    Praying.

    ~V

  • http://www.mustardseedyear.com Jason

    Praying for you Los.

  • Dawn Thomas

    We have been in your situation many times in the past. Thankfully my husband has gotten a new job working for the state. We are not rich by any means, but I would like to help you and your family. Please send me your mailing address to my email; d.thomas2003@yahoo.com and I’ll get a money order from USPS out in mail tomorrow.

    God bless you Los. You and your family have always been an inspiration to me and mine.

  • Chris

    Thanks for your vulnerability, Carlos. We need more of that in the Kingdom. Amazing witness of stalwart faith. I pray relief soon from all of the stress that those pictures signify.

  • Tara

    Thank you, not that I ever like to see others go through hard times but sometimes it helps to know you are not alone and we are all trying to make it in this crazy world.

    • http://heightsoflove.com Rebecca

      Amen! #ShareSomethingReal

  • http://jonathanmadrid.com Jonathan Madrid

    I just tweeted this, but I love your transparency bro, wish more leaders and influencers would talk this way. Praying for you man.

  • http://www.mohan37.com mo

    At least I’m here to provide the laughs, which is some kind of blessing.

    Praying for your fam … we’ve all had those moments of poopstorm.

  • http://danielmccullough.virb.com Daniel McCullough

    Los, thats great stuff. I’m in my first year in the ministry, in my first 6 months of marriage, wife is unemployed, debt out my ears and nose, and for the first time in our marriage our checking account is way overdrawn and pay day couldnt be any closer. But for the past month I have been preaching a sermon of Faith in the Storm, and would you know that the last point i wanted the YOUTH to understand I think hit ME harder, and that was to just simply know Christ and His faithfulness. You have obviously found that in your place of ministry, in your kids and your marriage. I am praying for you! And to those who have asked for his PayPal, thank you! You dont know want it means to us to receive an anonymous check to bless us in a time of need! Just want you to know that I look up to you and how Christ has been, and is using you in your ministry!

  • Greg

    A good friend that has since gone to be with Jesus asked me this question one day when life absolutely sucked:

    “What part of this surprised God?”

    His wife said the same thing to me the morning he died of a sudden heart attack.

    It’s perspective.

    God’s never late – it’s just that His plan and timing are probably different than ours.

    Praying.

  • Elizabeth Birak

    Los, I connect with what you’ve shared here because I’ve been there so many times myself. What I appreciate so much is your willingness to share this. I’ve always been afraid to be this honest about struggling financially because I didn’t want people to think I was just irresponsible (which we both know is not true).

    Can you please send me your PayPal info as well? I am praying for you and your family. I look up to you so much.

    Could you pray for my family as well? My husband and I pastor a little church in northern Canada. We are really isolated and have been going through a difficult couple years. The most recent hurdle is that I have to have back surgery and have to travel 15 hours to the nearest hospital in my province to have it. There’s a lot more, too, but I don’t want to write a book. :)

    Anyway, keep at it. We need you. And seriously. Send me your PayPal info.

  • BriAnne

    You tweeted this a bit ago:
    Be still and know He is God

    this is a phrase I had to be reminded of daily when things got super crazy in my world.. it’s a wonderful thing to remember when things get really rough.. I was told it more as basically- stop, shut up, tell God about it and then let HIM deal with it.. you can’t do anything, so stop trying.. He’ll get you through it.. you may not see how or when, but He will.. so be thankful you’re alive today, be thankful for the good things, and knock off the complaining..

    best kick in the rear ever.. and glad I had someone who told it to me all the time.. we all need someone like that in our lives.. and you Los, appear to have a few who do so… praise God for those people.. and I’ll be praying for you and yours as well..

  • Marla

    I am sorry for your situation. But why would you have posted all this, especially your bank account balance, if you were not looking for financial help? Maybe a few less of your “toys” would add to your account.,

    • Elizabeth Birak

      This makes my heart hurt. Please don’t pretend you know him, his family, and spending habits because you see a few pictures on Facebook, twitter, or instagram. Not that that would give you a reason to judge anyway.

      This ish is why Christians can’t be honest. Sharing stories of struggle must mean the person is either desperate for attention or manipulating you to get something from you. Ugh.

      Or, maybe they’re looking for support. Or declaring that even in times of trouble, God is faithful. Or being honest about their struggle so others feel comfortable to share their pain. You know- actually live life together as the body of Christ the way God planned for us. Authenticity isn’t always pretty.

      But you’re right. It’s probably about the few bucks people want to give him on PayPal. Since that was his idea and all.

    • http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

      Thanks for your thoughts.
      I’ve been telling these truths for years.
      The bank account will be back in a day.
      But its not there today.
      Read the comments.
      Those are why I shared…

    • John

      WOW… My reaction to this post was a lot like my road rage. At first, I’m angry, down right pissed at the person driving around me like, as I describe, “an idiot”, then I realize that maybe they are just having a bad day and are taking that frustration out on others.

      So that being said, I’m sorry that whatever you are going through needs to be taken out on Los and his simple sharing of himself and his situation. Like him, I’ve seen many highs and lows, in finance and in other things.

      I hope that next time you’re at a low point, someone has the courage and the love and compassion to reach out to you and just help, any way they can, whether with money or prayers or just being a shoulder to cry on. We all need that every once in a while. So I choose to give something to Los and his family because knowing him, just as little as I do, if I reached out to him, he’d be there for me in any way he possibly could. He’s that type of man and I hope that one day I can be as well.

    • Tiffani Brown

      Marla,
      The funny thing about following Christ is that sometimes in some situations it “seems” to others that there are other motives.
      I have found it happens often. I like to think that is the voice of the enemy bringing dissention among the body of Christ. But i’ll save that post for another day :)

      I am positive that Carlos could tell us story after story of when God asked him to do something and he said Yes and then God provided.
      Yesterday’s “yes” happened to be to be transparent and post his heart on his blog. And God provided. God also used that “yes” to minister to people yesterday.
      But i guarantee you that there have been plenty of times that Carlos’ “Yes” left not a soul knowing his financial or emotional status. That Carlos “yes” ministered to people and that for a moment he thought “Lord, i said yes, but if these people don’t know im broke/broken how are you supposed to bless me” and that God, in all of his miraculous wonder, STILL provided. In fact, if Carlos’ relationship with the Lord is anything like mine, i feel as if there has been times when God called him, Los hesitated, maybe even said no, and God provided.

      The thing about my God is that His love and provision is NOT conditional. It is not conditional on Carlos obedience, it is not conditional on your approval, or anyone else’s for that matter.
      But one of the things i LOVE about my God is how he rewards our obedience. How he reminds us that He is faithful. And encourages us to keep being faithful and saying yes to Him!

  • Pingback: My Afternoon with Loswhit « The Edward Life Project

  • Breanne Blanchard

    Sometimes you just need to know you aren’t alone…..
    I have been way over using my inhaler (which now is out) and my nebulizer because I haven’t been able to afford my Advair. Today, on the way to MOPS, the last piece of my beat up, but paid off!, car fell off…..oh and I battle depression and anxiety too. My bank account isn’t in the red today, but it has been plenty of times. You aren’t alone….always love your honesty. Prayin for you! It kinda sucks not being able to breathe…

  • beard_brain

    You really let God off the hook there. I was raised to apologize for God my whole life. Just when I am on the precipice of real answers to my most honest questions I short circuit the process by defending Him with anecdotal, reflex responses because I don’t want to seem ungrateful or like I’m second guessing the almighty’s way of doing things because after all He is right no matter what. He has blessed you with many things but just maybe the honest questions are the key to the escape from the hamster wheel of dissatisfaction and inner longing for more attentiveness out of Him. I know I sound like a douche but what is more unsatisfying than a relationship where you have to continually remind the other person that you feel overwhelmed and your needs are unmet. The people are really gracious to send money, and I’m sure you’ll say that was God looking out for you, but my wife would kick my ass if I strung her out shitty day after shitty day to prove a point that I’m really awesome when she gets to the end of her rope. MY QUESTION: “God after all these years I still get anxiety. If you have been everything that you say you are, why is it not getting any easier to trust you? Thanks for the money.” I will short circuit now “His ways are higher than mine, I just need to have more faith.”

  • Barry Sims

    Hey Carlos, could you call me please? I emailed my phone number to your loswhit@gmail.com account this morning.

    Thanks, Barry

  • http://www.crittyjoy.com Christy

    Thanks for the reminder of this today… just emailed a friend earlier telling her of what a shitty day this had been. (okay it’s been a shitty few months) and to come here and read this and remember not all days are like this and tomorrow is new and He is good…even when I forget.

  • http://inspiredrd.com Alysa

    How did you know to post this today? :) I needed it. Thank you.

  • Christi

    Carlos
    I work in Ministry myself. I enjoyed your honesty. On my bad days. I always remember there are always people worse off than me and then I fall to my knees and praise God for each and everyday I have on earth. Then I begin to pray for all those hurting, just like yourself.

  • Hydeny

    right there with ya on this one!!!!

  • http://geoffreyshafer.wordpress.com Geoff Shafer

    Thank you for posting this Los. As a stay at home dad of two who’s bank account is almost always there, it’s encouraging to know I’m not alone. Your posts about depression and other struggles have helped me to know that it’s ok to be a Christian and have problems and also to talk about them. Thanks again.

  • Keaton

    I spare you pity and all the I’m sorry’s. I just want to say thank you! A BIG THANK YOU! I often wonder the same thing; why life sucks. Sometimes I’m sooo ready for Heaven.

    But thank you for your honesty and for being so transparent. I followed your wife’s blog for as long as I could. I related to it so much. I moved from the south to the west coast and you allowed to the south via the west coast. My husband is a worship leader and wears so many hats.

    We do the best we can listening to the Spirit and trying our best to follow the heart of Jesus. Some days I struggle, barely staying afloat, never can we get ahead. Then I read all these ‘Christian’ books, follow all the ‘famous’ pastors and worship leaders on twitter. I sometimes compare my life to their’s and it seems like they have got it made. What am I doing that’s so wrong.

    Since your wife discontinued her blog I often wondered how the Whittakers were doing. So I started following yours. I still relate the most to you and your family and I actually find comfort in your bank account and your broke down car! I can soooo relate! It’s been a entire year where people call us Job. It’s been tough.

    Thanks for this post! (Sorry I just wrote a book,)

  • Laurie

    My husband is a bi-vocational pastor and I work as a lunch lady at a local elementary. To say that we struggle financially is an understatement. We live simply and I strive to live by the motto of “waste not, want not”. We literally fall into the definition of poverty.

    My husband had a heart attack and six stents places in
    2009. We will never play off all the bills. I have some pretty bom-digity anxiety issues and chronic pain problems. I’ve recently had to drop my insurance because it became too costly. Our 13 year old daughter has recently followed in my mental illness footsteps. It’s been difficult to watch.

    But we are blessed. Sweet Jesus, your blessing overflow on us. For the past 17 years I have been married to a man who loves me with passion and vigor. He makes my heart quicken and I love him so. We have three children that don’t mind being poor. They don’t have the gadgets and trinkets that their friends do and they don’t complain.

    My husband and I give each other pep talks. We tell each other that everything is going to be alright. Just the other day we discussed that following God’s will is all that matters. Not riches, fame, nor creature comforts matter. All that matters is God and all else is secondary.

    To be honest with you, Carlos, at times you annoy me. But that’s okay. LOL! It’s good to be challenged. It keeps me on my toes. But today you’ve given me exactly what I needed to hear. To me you are a “star”. You have albums, a blog that people scramble to follow, nice things that I’ll never afford and you travel to places I can only dream of going to. I’ve seen you as a rock star, as a super Christian, as the popular dude that everyone likes, but I’ve yet to see you as human. Today that changed. Today we are both pilgrims seeking their God in situations where you feel alone. Thank you for that.

    • Nice

      I actually took a screenshot of that. Well put.

  • http://foodjournalcorifraser.blogspot.ca/ Cori

    so glad I’m not alone…thanks for the courage to share – the good and the bad.

  • http://megandillon.blogspot.com Megan

    Thank you for sharing this. I am in the EXACT same place you are and feeling very discouraged. I needed your perspective today. God bless!

    • Common Sense

      if you cannot get a girl because all the ones you meet are gay, then YOU are doing something wrong.

      • hella gay

        ^ Yeah. Like remaining in the closet. It’s ok, denial is just a phase.

  • Ebbie C

    Hi Los. I dont know you at all and I have just recently started reading your blog and I just want to say THANK YOU! As much pride as men have I know it took more than courage, but divine leading to write a post like this and be completely transparent. I know God lead me to read this because I have been struggling with being open and telling my story. Scared of what people will think or say or how they would treat me. I have concluded from reading all of your comments (the nice and the hurtful) that it doesn’t matter. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Thanks for your obedience. When we really understand that this life is not about us I think we can start living like our story isn’t our to tell anyway. We are all just vessels, instruments, billboards, and arrows that point to Jesus.
    I will be praying for your family. I pray that God give you courage to continue in this mission and to fight even when things get dim in your life. I pray that even when you can not trace God’s hand that you trust his heart. I pray that you find rest and peace in God and love flows out of your heart like a river. I pray that compassion unleashes into your life and that you walk into divine alignment. I know this may sound weird but I love you! LOL The Jesus in me loves the Jesus in you and I speak peace over your finances and healing over anything in your life that is broken. Thanks for this lesson. You never know the unsuspecting lives you change just by walking in obedience. Be Blessed!

  • http://themadhattermemoirs.wordpress.com/ Jonathan Montan

    Been going thru some tough times. Thanks for this.

  • Kim

    Wow!!! transparency in the Christian “community”!!! Certainly God is pleased!! Only when we share our struggles and where we find our strength can others see HIM at work. Can’t wait to hear how He will provide for you Carlos and your family…..cause he ALWAYS does!!

  • Stephanie

    Wow, this is so totally spot on for what’s going on in our family, too. Too many bills to pay, not enough money to pay them. Car needs new tires and now the car makes a loud squeaking noise when you first pull out. GREAT!

    Oh yeah…and >$1000 of anesthesiologist bill from March of this year to pay off from my 4 yr old’s surgery to put tubes in her ears. 45 min in the hospital total and just the anesthesiologist was $1200!

  • http://www.chadmillerblog.com Chad Miller

    We hear people say way to often, “I don’t pray… I don’t know how.”
    Brother, this is how you pray. This is for everyone who believes you have to use fancy words like thee and thou.
    Great post, Carlos!

  • http://stevecrutchfield.com steve

    that’s wuts up…be you…

  • http://www.inspiteofallthedamage.com Juliet deWal

    Yes.
    Oh, yes.

  • http://Facebook.com/aaronlongworship Aaron

    I’m not much of one for emotions however, this post and all of it’s comments have my eyes welling up and being over taken. But, not simply overtaken by emotion. Overtaken by the goodness of a God that loves, provides, and restores over and over again.

    I am currently in this very sucky situation. Bills that need to be paid, gas that needs to be put in the car, breaks that need replacing, plus planning a wedding that’s to happen in less than 12 months. Both my personal and business (band) account look similar to this.

    It’s in these times when I am truly reminded of God’s goodness and my desperate utter dependence on Him.

    Thank you for being transparent. It’s a needed thing. We all need to know that it’s alright to bleed. It’s ok to be in a bad place. Just don’t dwell in that bad place.

    I know you’re swamped with your new EP coming out tomorrow but, would you email me? I have some insight I’d like to get from you. I know this is probably a stretch because you probably have tons of people asking this very thing but, I would greatly appreciate it!

    Thanks man!

    Aaron

    aaronlongbooking@gmail.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003406914734 Alexandr

    I am one of those christians who balttes with the command GO. I have so many ideas that would help my church grow tremendously, but my church is very small and there are not many youth advocates that would help bring my ideas to fruition. So, I choose to stay where I am due to the lack of help and motivaiton within my church. I am just stuck between a rock and a hard place and I don’t know what to do.

  • Absolutely

    certainly the truth.

  • angelseeker

    cant tell help how to help you!! The truth is in my heart now if i can quiet my mind to see and hear the signs that have been all around me but cud never see peace

  • http://www.facebook.com/todd.bedusek Todd Bedusek

    athiest here god sux

    • Justsomedude

      Hello Todd. I must say, you could have sprinkled some sugar on that. Like “Hello, to all my hateful fans. The day of God before damnation and crime is about to unfold. Let the true cult of Atheist peasants overcome and succeed. Hail to the non-believers.” Or something. But, Todd, I feel Christ is going to influence your actions, because lets be honest. Characters like you are just looking to stand out. It’s not that you don’t believe in God, it’s that you just want something to bitch and moan about, taking the path less traveled by. But, bro, Atheism is already all over the place. 10 year old are bragging about how God doesn’t exist. SO! When you realize the path is more over the same as everything else, just don’t be a little slut bag and start cramming your religion down other people throats like you have something to prove. Because the only thing you proved today is that you can’t spell “atheist” or “sucks” properly. Now, I hope you feel good about yourself. Fuckin’ Todd.

    • Bluesbrother

      You can’t blame god for messing up your life, you may have sinned too much without repentance, so if you reach out to him and believe that you can be worthy of his grace, he will reward you. Otherwise, your life will just get worse and worse. You might just be stubborn and instead of making up for your sins you blame God and sin more for revenge, repeating the cycle.

      • T

        This is not necessarily true. God will not make your life easier because you follow Him. Lack of repentance does not necessarily mean you will have a hard time.

        Knowing God in a relationship is the most important thing, not begging forgiveness or trying to be a good little Christian.

    • Common Sense

      Why?

  • wanda mcleod

    Thank u just googled why dose my life suck, never really though anything would come up…but u did thanks again!!!!!

  • burat

    God is sucks like everyone of us so stop complaining cock suckers you suck more than God sucks

  • j

    Made my day, thanks

  • http://twitter.com/Portlandmindful Portland Mindfulness

    I don’t know much about God but I do know that life sucks because our minds suck. We have the ability to learn not to take our minds seriously, and that is the answer to the suckage. God, if He exists, probably would prefer we solve the suck problem on our own if we can, because He is probably incredibly busy running the universe, and He would know that we have the ability within ourselves to deal with the mind He gave us skillfully. If He exists. See my blog post on Why Life Sucks So Bad. http://portlandmindful.com/pain-and-suffering/why-your-life-sucks-so-bad/#.UWWanqvwJZo

    • fuk u

      Thanks for the advert. By the way…not everyone has that ability. We aren’t any of us Einstein or Freud. So what then genius?

  • Cjl0719

    I guess that I am in the same place as a lot of people commenting on this. I googled “why does my life suck so much?” and expected some yahoo discussion to pop up. When I saw this I was shocked. It reminded me that everything is in God’s hands. I have been depressed and haven’t had the strength to remind myself that he is always there for me. He will never give us any more than we can handle. In fact, I already know that what I am going through will make me stronger.
    I prayed for the first time in a long time today. Well for more than just helping me do well on an exam with a crazy professor.
    Basically what I am trying to say is thank you for sharing. It turned my day around. One good day leads to another… And today will be good.

  • Yeah Right

    Yeah, well sometimes ‘bad’ things like above poem is ‘bad’ – YEAH RIGHT – maybe GOD just sucks REALLY to a few people. let me tell you whats a bad day/life:

    1) At 24 was engaged, dad got cancer and docs gave 3 months to live. Quit a $75,000 year job to help out. He lived 3 years. Mom went crazy would not let hospice or anyone help. My engagement went south because couldnt leave since nobody but me to take care of dad.

    2) Was engaged at 33. Called my fiance at like 7pm to come drop me off some food. On her way over she and her 6 year old daughter killed by drunk driver.

    3) Age 35 – got arthritis and severe stomach cramps that cant eat/drink without throwing up like 60 to 80 times a day. Docs have no idea whats wrong with multiple tests and doctros.

    4) Age 37 Let my mom move in with me cause my sis lost job and was evicted from her house and let her have my moms house (along with 2 nephews) whiule getting on feet. She doesn’t PAY HARDLY anything so my mom has to pay everything for her and cannot afford to leave my house.

    5) Age 39, was let go of job had 7 years (payed around 45,000). Becasue let go lost 401k, vacation and no severence pay.

    6) Age 40 – started own business. Put in all my money and business is failing – about to go under.

    So, now at 41 — no friends/girlfriend because cant ever go out with anyone because cant eat/drink in publuic because will start throwing up about 5 minutes after eating/drinking. Live with my mom so sister/nephews and live for free and she spends money on baseball, trips, new clothes for her, etc. Failing business living with two very bad health problems. Lost one fiance to help family and lost second fiance and little girl loved to drunk driver.

    I’m sorry God – I don’t think praying, or looking at good aspects (what good in my life – no friends, family that takes from me, VERY bad health, live with mom at 41, failing business) is going to do anything. I tried to do good, but like Job in the bible (losing family, business and health), I lost everything (he at least had 3 friends after all the bad stuff – I got none). So screw anyone that says look at the good and trust God.b Sometimes doing good and trying to be helpful and friendly just fucks your life up!

    • ncp

      i have a question for you I’m 21 and I’ve been jail for 3 and a half years got out in 2009 never had a job never had a girlfriend or even got laid my mom kicked me out with no place to go so i had to stay in a shelter and/or out side for about 1 year no friends the only thing going goodish is i got in to school but I’m failing because I’m so far behind. SHOULD I JUST END IT OR KEEP GOING CUZ ITS LIFE AND SHIT HAPPENS

      • FlukeLSX

        You want my honest opinion?
        Fine here it is… Don’t talk about it fucking do it.
        Life sucks for you it sucks for me it sucks for everyone…. Deal with it or punch the fuck out.
        I have been through more shit than jackass up there has been through in the same amount of time and I won’t even begin to talk about it… because I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
        But you know what? I’m to much of a fucking pussy to kill myself.
        You want to do it… then do it. I won’t lose sleep over it.
        Nor will I have any pity for you because of it.

        • itsnotgodbutclose

          I would do it if people wouldn’t feel bad and grieve. It’s just death which to me in not a big deal. I believe in the after life so for me ending it here seems fucking fantastic. This planet is a joke. The only people who do well here are people willing to become corrupted because that’s all this civilization breeds. I’d rather leave now before my soul becomes anymore filthy just by the mere presents of you other dirt bags

      • Time Cop
    • Dashing Andre Ellis

      Fuck God there is no God

    • Dashing Andre Ellis

      Evil people rule the world, good people suffer and die early… evil people live damn near forever and have all the resources and power. The justice system is subject to how much money you have. The government is a cold heartless bitch. our entire human society is based on greed and capitalism. People starve in the streets while people that have money to give give it to rich men in multi million dollar churches.

      So you tell me how the fuck is there a Good God? if there is a God he is not good he is evil.

      • God’sabandonus

        I believe there is God but he has a non interference policy which I find is faulty but I don’t think he is perfect. That part is made up to turn Jesus into an idol which is strictly forbidden yet many churches ignore it.

        I am SO GLAD this site allows guest posting. Most sites for some reason do not allow it and you can immediately see the lack of comments.

        • FlukeLSX

          Man goes to god, “Prove you exsist.”
          God goes to man, “With proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.”
          Man goes to god, “Then who am I talking to?”
          The fact you think god isn’t perfect makes god fallable… And in case you didn’t brush up on your religion… God is infallable, which means he is perfect in every conceivable way.
          1. He’s never wrong.
          2. He’s always right.
          3. In case of any doubt refer to rules 1 and 2.
          That is what makes god exsist; Our stupid need to have a reason for the meaning of life when there doesn’t have to be one.

      • Claude

        God gave man free will and in there lies the problem. It’s man’s choice to either follow God or the wants of the world. Most chose the latter and their lives full of evil, greed, hatred, and any other sin you’d like to add to this list. God loves everyone unconditionally. He is not responsible for the choices man makes…but if man follows his path it always leads to great things.

        • FlukeLSX

          God didn’t give man fucking shit. Man gave God life, not the other way around.
          Well I’ve been following my path for 35 years, and I’m still waiting on that one great thing.
          You let me know when it shows up… I wouldn’t want to be late.

    • FlukeLSX

      Aww gee wiz? And all that in just 13 years? My heart bleeds for you.
      4 funerals in 8 months. Have a wonderful day.
      Life sucks, then you die.
      -signed God.

    • FlukeLSX

      Here’s another question for you: You know when you go to church on sunday, and they pass out the donation basket?
      Instead of putting a $1 bill in it.. How about a note that says, “Get a job.”
      What the fuck does god need with money? Absolutely fucking nothing.
      Churches are out for personal gain nothing more nothing less…. It’s a business.
      You want to know what religion is? Religion is a made up excuse for the meaning of life. God doesn’t profit off religion… But all the religious sects sure as hell do.
      There doesn’t have to be a reason for anything… But it’s human nature to find a reason for EVERYTHING.

  • Joe

    Thanks man…good reality check. It’s so easy to lose focus…

  • It’s the truth

    Except god isn’t real…

    • Laurence Lu

      LOL, I believe the same, but I suggest you don’t press them on others…the 80% believers may get mad at you only for saying that itself. Just appreciate what’s around you, that we are probably just smarter than other known species on this planet, things that try to sustain ourselves and live the years we have. :)

    • T

      Sir… I used to have similar feelings… God is very real. My heart aches for those who have not met Him. Men are foolish, and many religious leaders teach lies. But seeking God above all things will bring you truth and knowledge.

    • lol

      So once there was nothing at all and then something exploded for no reason and created the universe and living things and developed planets and galaxies and languages?

      I like your logic.

  • VerySeriously

    well with all the GAY WOMEN that he created nowadays, that would certainly do it.

    • Tim Ngim

      Gay women???

      • VerySeriously

        yes it is very true, and with so many of the Gay women that are out there now is certainly the reason why us Straight Guys can’t meet a decent normal one anymore since they like to Curse at us when we will try to start a conversation with the one that we would really like to meet. why should a woman Curse at us? either these type of women are very mentally disturbed, or Gay. then again, they must have been very badly abused by the men that they were with at one time.

  • whyme

    thank you…. this really helped me

  • Human beings are the worst

    Why blame God for something human beings are the cause for? The reason why my life sucks is because of the other human beings that unknowingly caused me hardship. The economy? Human’s fault. Pollution? Human’s fault. Me working my butt off only to be denied a job in my field, both my fault and other people fault.

    • FlukeLSX

      Just shootin spitballs here;
      Because man was created in god’s image; And god is perfect after all yes?
      He doesn’t make mistakes and wouldn’t create life as twisted and hearless as mankind now would he?
      Becuase that would make him fallable, and god is infallable as we all know.
      Or in short, god doesn’t exsist because noone can justify his exsistance based on ANYTHING religion or logic tells us.

  • Me

    If god is real, then he’s done a pretty crappy job of managing the world. Poverty, crime, and corruption are rampant in the vast majority of the world, and those who are faithful are no better off than those who are not.

    • Someone u don’t know

      God did not make this a shitty place retard people did!!

      • suicide

        People are saying god wont help us though, so god either sucks ass like shitty retards or HE DOSNT EXSIST….retard!

      • Time Cop

        fuck you bitch!

  • Tyler Ayers

    1. There is no god. Stop believing in fairy tales, you’re too old for that.
    2. If there were a god responsible for all this fucked up bullshit and I had a chance to stand before her, I would at least attempt to slit her cunting throat for being an Indian-giving evil little cunt that has fun watching us all suffer then kills us.
    3. There is no god. There is no evidence to suggest that a god ever existed. This all developed randomly.

    4. Ever really take notice at what a truly violent universe this is? When galaxies collide, what do you think happens to the millions of planets sporting life that smash into each other? You guessed it, same thing that happens here on planet Earth on a daily basis albeit a smaller scale, life devours life (repeat mantra).
    5. I suggest you take up drinking, at least you’ll have a few laughs before you die!!!
    6. All the crime, corruption, poverty, murder, wars, etc. are the result of a group of people called zionists and they are anything but godlike. In fact, they are very likely the model for all the stories about satan, vampires and evil that were passed down through history to warn you. There’s nothing supernatural about them, they just figured out how to dupe the masses with organized cults called religion and took over money supplies so they could enslave you for your creative talents and energies then dump you and take back the pension they promised when your talents no longer suit them. Read, watch, listen and learn and stop expecting some mythical character to “return” and save you. There is no historical evidence that a man named Jesus Christ ever walked the Earth, there is evidence to suggest that Jesus is a mythical character made up that symbolizes celestial events and actually, magic mushrooms. Read about it and stop believing in fairy tales! Santa Claus is not coming down the chimney tonight!

    • Dashing Andre Ellis

      best comment ever man you hit the nail on the head…. these people dont understand that there is no God and never has been…

      • believeornot

        if God wasn’t real then why do zionist spend most their time trying to tap their spiritual limits towards bn of God body, bottom line is there are countless facts that Jesus did walk this earth weather you believe he is our saver or not..gotta do your research and hopefully you find the answers you need . the point is that somethings just can’t be explained, truth is even speaking is a sin all things are sins period…. and as for free will that is just, for every action there’s a What? reaction and trust if my life didn’t suck and I wasn’t like the guy up top I’m 30 now n since birth I feel I been handed the short stick in life and it continues to this day, I want to believe that God is real because many times there is things that can’t be explained, so I will continue to trust in the Lord and hopefully society as a whole will wake up from this elite bs we live on a daily and take control over this land of earth and our lives

  • ghj

    oowwwwwhhh liifeeee you blowwwwwwws..

  • T

    God bless you, sir. I found this post when I typed “why does life suck so much?” into DuckDuckGo because I am having a pretty crappy time right now.

    This article truly blessed me and I will share it with others. Thank you.

  • God’sabandonus

    It’s because more and more people have abandon the spiritual concept of God for either materialism or religion which is materialism under a fancy dancy name so therefore God cannot do much without violating you’re free will.

    There really is no such thing as *equal* rights because everybody is different and unique. There has never truly been equal rights for either man or women and *civil rights* are all just social distractions to fool us from the true enemy. I can see thru the BS that is spouts off and I’m mentally retarded so if I can see thru the BS then that is saying something.

    In the bible we are in what is known as Satan’s final hour as he has power over the air which means *airwaves* get it? His spirit is in charge of all our media to dumb us down and it’s up to us to catch on to the game of divide and conquer. So far his game is working and the bible says that will happen if people choose to follow their own path.

    An hour in the bible is like a generation so this is our last generation which started in the 60s as pot smoking hippies as they are all grown up now and don’t want to let go of that era so they are in key positions of responsibility ready to rumble.

    So therefore we humans created this bed so now we sleep in it.

    Pretty much everything sucks now because we suck. As long as we suck life will continue to only get suckier the more we fool ourselves.

    Drugs/Sex/Rock n Roll only help fuel these artificial distractions as a lot of bands have hidden meanings in them that have to do with the Free Masons much like the Federal Reserve which is ran by the Rothschilds and other private banking cartels that have hijacked our government.

    That is the short and simple version. There is likely a lot more information none of us pipsqueaks will ever have access too but a lot of military documents have been declassified that shows some weird shit going on.

  • God’sabandonus

    A few things to watch out for is in 2014 the Israel peace treaty which if it happens will pave the way for the temple that will house the AntiChrist.

    Since the 1980s there has several times been attempts to build that darn thing but nobody could hammer out an agreement. The bible says when the Antichrist is here everyone will be able to see him at the exact same time.

    Since the 90s we have had technology in you’re TV to have you’re house monitored to protect against burglary and fires if you are away. The camera is in the sensor that activates you’re remote control and for now is off unless you want it activated but there could be a time where a law forces the tiny camera to be on by law so police can watch you’re house for you’re own safety of course as they would put it.

    In high tech hospitals they actually have nanobots that go into you’re skin thru a syringe that travel up and down you’re bloodstreams getting rid of bad cells and replacing it with good ones and scientists want to use these nanobots to remove mental disorders like autism which is what I’ve got or ADD/Bi Polar.etc.

    They want computers to literally be in you’re brain and we are not very far from it. Scientists only need a way to socially engineer it so people will accept it without question and not only accept it without question but make it so you will look *backwards* for not having an RFID chip in you. It has to be made unacceptable to have anything else other then a global chip which The Beast can track you.

    They already have it in the military to track soldiers who go missing or get hurt/kidnapped.etc

    We are SO CLOSE to the end times that it’s not even funny. LOL

  • God’sabandonus

    Did I mention that in 2016 Russia plans to ban paper currency to where you can’t have anything other the rubles? T

    hat will had a worldwide effect when that is in effect as other countries like the USA and Europe will wake up and not trust paper currency causing a massive panic. Of course the media will try to keep a *lid* on it by spouting off lies that everything is fine but eventually too many people will be aware and it won’t do any good.

  • itsnotgodbutclose

    Life on Earth is a scam

  • itsnotgodbutclose

    People always to happy to say meh shit happens fuck I hate that cop-out. If this is a school for the soul then Earth is a dirty ass ghetto in the cosmic scheme of things.

  • KnockinOnHeavensDoor

    Thanks for breaking through to me with the nice little piece of encouragement. I know you wrote this not knowing me, but it went straight to my heart. Are you this kind to everyone around you? No one around me quite knows how bad it is for me right now. God, if you are there, please help me and all the others in here. Just barely holding on . . . .

  • lolol

    lol complain all of this to a homeless guy and see his reaction. People who have a higher chance of dying than living every day have more faith in God than you

  • qbert

    I believe God exists, because I’m still here. I believe mankind has distorted view of God and what life is supposed to be like. I think life is not meant to be enjoyed; it’s a test of a soul’s character, strength, determination. I believe God intervenes enough to ensure this planet and it’s inhabitants continue, or else we would’ve died off long ago- what fun would that be then? Just my opinion-for now.

  • spoilers

    Read the bible carefully. Think. Realize ‘god’ does not exist. For evidence you should take a look at the history of “Hell” as it is written in the King James bible. You should note that hell, as it is defined today, did not exist prior to this.

  • Time Cop

    GOD IS BULLSHIT A FUCKING PRICK! FUCK GOD AND HIS SON JESUS CHRIST. AMEN! THERE, I SAID MY PRAYER THROW ME TO HELL FUCKERS, AND OH BY THE WAY I WILL SEE EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD AT THE BOTTOM :) :-D

  • Darin Campbell

    I really needed to hear this today. Thank you.

  • Jim Crotty

    Yes !

  • peterhamm

    Great thoughts.

    I think sometimes we miss it…

    I ask God where the heck he is hiding when I can’t find a decent parking place at the mall, or when the heat in my car stops working during the polar vortex…

    …meanwhile the apostles got beaten within an inch of their lives, thrown into prison… and sang hymns of praise…

    …leading me to believe that I suck at the whole christian thing…

  • Amanda Harman

    All I can say is….to all of this….including the comments….wow.

    I am humbled…and thankful.

  • http://www.chrismorriswrites.com/ Chris Morris

    Dude –

    This was great. So much honesty. So much truth. Literally a modern hymn, in the spirit of so many Davidic psalms. Thanks for sharing your heart, and your weaknesses, here.

  • Anxiety & Depression

    What about those with depression & anxiety. I view God differently now in life than I did when I first accepted him into my life. At first, I believed God calmed my heart and rested my soul. Now my depression is getting worse and anxiety is through the roof. I can’t even leave the house. The only thing keeping me earth side is my sweet 18 month old. So no.. I don’t believe this God that once existed is out there to help anymore. Especially with all these churches near me just begging for money but screw the new person!

    • TeriJ

      I don’t normally read comments on blogs, as it can become a full time thing, much less comment on them. But, I want you to know that God DOES love you. I have been in a circumstance similar to yours. It got to the point that putting one foot in front of another was about all I could do. Circumstances can seem daunting and overwhelming, especially if that is all we can see. I don’t want to sound trite, here, but please here me out. I want to challenge you to do something. It says in the Bible that we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds. I can testify that the visible church is fallible, and can be hurtful, as it is filled with humans. But God is not. He will never fail you. I want to challenge you to spend 30 days reading the book of Ephesians. This tells you who you are in Christ, and how to live that out. God loves you so much. Here is a link: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%201&version=HCSB I don’t know if there is any way we can private message if you’d want to. Please let me know how I can pray for you. I want nothing from you, but for you to know the joy and peace I have found in Christ. God bless you.

    • Melissa

      Make a relationship with God, not the church. God isn’t a genie and won’t “fix” your issues because you asked or even because you want them. You need to do that yourself. I’ve overcome the most incredible lows, so I know what I’m talking about. Use your head, find your strength, determination and will power to not accept less than you deserve and pray while YOU work toward YOUR future. Maybe seek professional help. Only then will you get over these issues you’re experiencing. If you give up on God, throw in the towel and accept your situation, you have chosen to accept failure. Typing, writing or saying “He has failed you” or “I give up” only solidifies your stubbornness in choosing the easy way of staying the same. It takes courage and strength to change into who you want to become. The sadness and disappointment you’re experiencing is your own choice and declaration.

  • Denise

    Thanks for posting this. It’s really good. Keep on because the world needs you and God created you for such a time as this. God bless you, brother!!

  • Cristy

    So much pain in these comments, so much suffering. I prayed for you all. Sincerely, I am so so sorry I ever thought my small problems were important compared to what you’ve been through. I wish I could convince you all how very much it does matter to God. There IS peace in these circumstances, please consider what Los says in the end.

  • topher

    wow. terrible poem.

  • 9876marv

    Jesus says “come on, all you who are wiped out, confused, bewildered, lost, beat up, scarred, scared, threatened, depressed, and I’ll enlighten you mind with wisdom and fill your heart with tenderness that I have received from my Father.” This is unconditional love. We need only accept it. Who were Jesus’s best friends when he was on this planet? The tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers, diseased, downtrodden, lowest of the low, worst of the worst! Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. Who did Jesus use to change the world when he was here? Who was the first person to see Jesus raised from death? Mary Magdalene – a prostitute! Who did he build his church on – a man he called the rock? Peter – lowly fisherman who struggled and even denied him to his face! God uses us lowly sinners because we are the most needy of his love. Dont lose heart! If life were a bed of roses who would need him? Who would call his name? We need only call on him, accept his love and grace and he will come running

  • tom

    man, screw this… it’s not true.

  • What is God

    Life does suck but for all that believe in no Creator thats dumb ignorance calls it god but the only thing that has been around since the beginning is what we call is energy but our minds are run off of it or produce it so that would suggest that maybe the reverse is true and that thought is energy which would suggest that consciousness is the beginning. the have been countless forms of life(blueprints) to the point of man. like software modules just mods to the original design. The creator “God” was bored, does not feel,created this shit for entertainment .whether this reality is just running program within it thought(Big Bang and all) or many consciousnesses(gremlins) that fuck with life. No life ask to be here that part is random. But to many times when you think you know the outcome, miraculously(that God for spell checker,pun intended)

    it fucks ups, that Murphy law(gremlins fucking with us). in the end. Death just erases our existence. the hell that maybe there is as the body dies the neurons trigger memories as they die(takes about 8 hours according to medical doctors) and without believing that you are saved by god the brain could experience horrible fear if there is enough shitty memories. In the end there is compassion in this creator but the intelligence and design are truly there.

  • jkenney

    Or maybe God is a wishful delusion we cling to because life is hard…yeah that is my conclusion….

  • Go fuck yourself

    God/creator your a joke and the sooner your dead in your world the sooner all of us can truly be in heaven ,see to have nothing is better than having a fuck head like you and I know this message will get to you because you are everyone so please go fuck all yourselves you piece of shit . Your love sucks and your life is a waste of energy, you are the problem in this world and it makes me happy to know what a reflection on the shit of a life you have become from your own worldly life. So fuck you forever and ever and your son is just a lying drug addict heartless fuckhead and THATS THE TRUTH

  • http://www.wentzelwooddesigns.com monty

    Wow lots of mad hurtin people here. My take on this…It is a gift to go through this life and not become bitter. I fight everyday for this gift, I wish it were easier. Frankly though, I think God gets a bad rap on this site. If anything reads clear in the bible it’s the description of the misery and depravity in this life. God never promised easy, if anything he said this life will suck, but its the next life to come that counts. If anything, its not “life sucks then you die”, its “life sucks then you live”! if you believe. If a preacher could reach this hurtin crowd I’d say he’d be the greatest preacher ever,

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