Carlos Whittaker

Jul10

You Are Not A Fuc* Up. No Matter What They Tell You

If you have not gone over to read Mike’s post go do that now…
Now for my thoughts on this image.
The last season of my life I have had moments where I have looked in the mirror and seen this exact image.
I had moments where even the words “Fuck Up” were not vulgar enough to express the depths of sin I felt in my life.
And then, every time, through strangers, portals, and close friends, God would show up and heal the scars on my neck.
He would then show me the scars on his wrists and remind me that his scars have made me new.

We are not defined by our past.
We are defined by Christ’s past.
And He set in motion a definition on the cross that secures us a future of Grace, Hope, and Love.
On your most defeated of days…
What do you see carved on your neck when you look in the mirror?
Los

For the rest of the Labels Lie series, click here…

MJT

Loser
http://Andrewgergen.com Andrew

I see:
‘Fuck up’
‘asshole’
‘douche bag’
‘jerk’
‘addict’
‘nothing’

We were talking about guilt and forgiveness last night in my small group. Thanks for this!
http://mikecelebrating.blogspot.com Mike

This is so necessary. Its nice to see church communities “strip away the political correctness and fake piety” and face the brutal truth. without grace, we don’t stand a chance, but in grace we’re made new and worthy. hits hard sometimes.

http://mikecelebrating.wordpress.com Mike

…and to answer the question I see all of the above responses and more. Like Paul wrote, I’m the vilest of sinners.

Ryan McSherry

As surprised as I was that you used the full Fuc* up in the post and was even getting a little judgmental, I luckily began to be like, who the heck cares? That’s what we are by nature, but the sheer fact of it all is that Christ takes that label completely away. Nice post!
http://www.nickfry.com Nick Fry

I wrote a song called “Scars” because of my struggles as well. I don’t think people sometimes truly understand all of our struggles and what we see. I’m thankful Christ took our scars!
daveu

Fake.
Sherry

I see
‘IDIOT’
‘stupid’
http://www.mustardseedyear.com Jason

Fuck up.
Loser.
Failure.
Hopeless.
Unlovable.
Forever single.
Tub of lard.

http://nextstopnineveh.wordpress.com Virgil

^^^ All lies.

heather

wow
http://insidevoicescomeout.wordpress.com/ Jason Craig

I see ‘forgiven’

Choose to see the ‘you’ that God sees and do not dwell on the image the devil tries to show you.

Jason

http://facebook Charlotte Chupik

YES I AGREE JASON.. THIS IS WHY HE ALSO SUFFERED IN PAIN AS A HUMAN AND DIED FOR US..SO THAT HIS SPIRT COULD LIVE WITHIN US AND DO SUPERNATURAL THINGS.. WHEN WE ACCEPT HIM AS OUR SAVIOR AND BECOME HIS CHILD.. WE CAN ASK ANYTHING FROM HIM AS HIS CHILD AND IF IT IS WITHIN HIS WILL FOR US HE WILL DO IT…

http://wholeheartedlycorina.blogspot.com/ Corina

Overly emotional
Cursed
Alone
Unsure
Insecure
Worthless
Forgotten
Unloved
Mistake
Almost…but not quite

http://wholeheartedlycorina.blogspot.com/ Corina

BUT! This is what the Truth says about me today:

Caring
Blessed
Never alone
Definite
Worthy
Remembered
Loved
Planned & Wanted
Enough

Jason

I needed to read this. Thank you.

Kevin

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. ~Galatians 5:1

FREEDOM!!!
Jon

Take some dry erase markers & write the truth of who you are on your mirror.
Feelings are deceptive. Feelings are temporary. They might be around a while, but they’re temporal things.
Gods word lasts forever & if you are in Christ, your identity is no longer wrapped up in your failure but in Christ’s success. Write Romans 8 on your mirror. Then when you see fatass, retard, loser, failure, screw up, or success even; you’ll see the truth that you can’t but God can. That in Christ, you are worth more than you can fathom.

Let you emotIons inform your life, not control it. Let the Truth rule your life.

http://www.karagene.net Kara

Love this suggestion! I actually did this a few months ago… with eyeliner, and encouraged my youth to do the same.
Ira

wow. thanks.

http://joshisaloser.com Josh

Fat Loser
Bryan

Fat,
Lazy,
Pretender,
Whose minor successes have been due to extenuating circumstances.
Ryan

Failure.
Fuc*up
Can’t be fixed.

I know I have to see myself how Christ sees me, but it’s hard to get past the reality of how I feel.
http://wesandsarah.com Sarah

“You are a terrible mother.”

I am terrified of being a bad mom, especially because I continue to choose to stay at home with her instead of going back to work (and I loved my job). I have to remember constantly that God’s grace sustains me and I CANNOT be a good mom without him.

I feel discouraged and daunted by the task of caring for her tiny soul. I hate it when I see this image. Feeling like a bad mom makes me also feel fat, ugly, mean and a bad wife.

Lord save me, I cannot save myself!

http://www.calebgordon.com Caleb Gordon

Sarah,

You are making the BEST choice! I can promise you that. My wife stays home and we have 4 kids. She says everyday ‘I’m so glad I decided not to go back to work.’

I promise it’s going to be worth it.

You’re doing what’s right!

HeatherEV

On my worst days…
“Failure”
“Screw Up”
“Selfish”
“Hated”
“Abandoned”
“Unloveable”
“A burden”
“Waste of time”
“Stupid”
“Broken beyond repair”
“Hopeless”
“Worthless”
To name a few…
http://www.calebgordon.com Caleb Gordon

WOW!
I felt like this for a while…especially after my divorce.

For years I was so fearful of people finding out that I had the ‘BIG D’ on my list of ‘stuff’ because for some reason when people find that nugget of truth out about you (especially inside of the church world) everything changes, and it’s not a good change. People who are not divorced look at you like you’ve got the bubonic plague.

I wrote about that a few weeks ago…

http://www.calebgordon.com/?p=3455

God has opened a door through this though…and He is using me to minister to other men who are going through divorces. It’s been a crazy journey.
Vicki

This is the comment I left on Mike Foster’s blog post:

Difficult and painful and messy. But that defines life on this side sometimes. Just in case anyone is wondering, even “good girls” the ones who have remained chaste, are polite, have never drank nor smoked or taken an elicit drug, look in the mirror and say the exact same thing. Often the only time our language gets “impolite” is when we talk to ourselves about ourselves.

julie

so true- you nailed it.

GaryMoore

Not good enough
Karen

Coward,
Fool,
Self-centered,

BUT … praise the Lord for His grace and mercy. I Love you Jesus!!
Mark

You just wanted an excuse to cuss didnt you? LOL
L.

Fantastic post! Timely too. I’ve been having a lot of difficulties at work, which is not the norm for me, and therefore stressing a lot and feeling really badly. I’m used to being a top performer. Soooo, thank you for reminding me of my true value!
stacey

thanks for posting
Danny

screwup.
adulturer.
liar.
damaged goods.
unlovable.
http://tamaracorinetaylor.wordpress.com tamara

When I was 14; I carved ‘loser’ into my forearm with a knife.
at 15; and for three years onwards, i’d carved words onto my stomach to hide my shame.

Today I have ‘love’ tattooed onto the same arm that once bore ‘loser’. Because, in spite of how I see myself, I am loved.
http://gadrockgomer.wordpress.com Jaime

I see failure, and I see it often. I see it in my role as a Student Pastor. Those times when the ministry doesn’t “Look” successful from the outside. I see it as a parent, those times when I loose my temper. I see it as a husband when I don’t lead, and love like I should.
Mary

This image hit me hard. The honesty is breathtaking. The honesty and the grace is so deeply what I needed on a day when even these words don’t seem vivid or obscene enough to describe the way I see myself.

Thank God that we are defined by Christ’s scars and not our own.
BriAnne

I’m with you Los.. although my label changes every day because my challenges change every day and each day I’m left with a different concern… I’ve been lucky to have friends who walk into my world and remind that there is only one label that truly matters.. LOVED.. some days I truly forget that label and am blessed to have people step in, smack me upside the head, and remind me what is true..
ames

fat @ss failure
Rachel

Broken.
F*ck up.
Not enough.
JR

Loser
Screw up
Lazy
Angry
Addict
Weak
Stupid
Uneducated
Worthless
http://www.mohan37.com mo

thanks for the support homie.

I see phony.
http://Twitter.com/michaelmcminn IrishMike

I heard someone saw it’s like hearing a record that skips stuck on the same repeating phrase in our head. When I was a kid my dad would say things like “what are you deaf?” “what are you stupid?” “what are you retarded?” myself and other have added to these over the years:
Loser
Coward
Lazy
Fat
Fuck up
Asshole
Broken
Stupid
Lame

http://Twitter.com/michaelmcminn IrishMike

In Christ I see/hear

Healed
Creative
Worth it
Loved
Forgiven
Covered
Blessed
Changed
Capable
Cheered on
Built up
Restored

http://www.graceoverflowing.org Bek

Oh I so needed to read this right now. I see;
Broken
Rejected
Abused
Worthless
Disgraced
Lost
Cold
Violated
Unwanted
Pathetic
Shamed
Unloveable

I did up an art piece with all these words and over the top I have written ‘poison’. I have a picture in my head of another piece with the words cancelled out and ‘jesus’ over the top. I am not ready to make that yet, but I have hope that God is doing a work in me.
Anonymous

Adulter
Fake
Twisted
http://jasoncormier.tumblr.com/ Jason Cormier

I see stuff at times that is too dark and vulgar for this comment section. What I try to see is Child of God, father of two, husband, and blessed.
http://Www.cherryunleashed.com Justin Cherry

Liar
Fake
Poser
Hypocrite

Everyday, I struggle to be the image that God created me to be. Everyday I wake up ready to be that man. And many days I fail.

Thank you God for grace & mercy! Keep working on me God, I’ll get there or die trying!

Thanks for the post Los!
Kim S.

I see failure, incapable, inadequate, lost never to be found again, rejected, liar, fake.

However I daily, moment by moment try to remind myself and ask God to remind me of the TRUTH, that I have made mistakes, but Jesus bore all of them on them on the CROSS (the good the bad and the ugly). I am incapable and inadequate however God is MIGHTY and LOVING and it only by Him that I can do anything not by my own. He will always be there by my side, I may walk away and reject him, but He loves me right where I am NO MATTER what mess I am going through or what I got myself in.
Leah

I see failure but my God sees forgiven and His daughter. That was heavy.
Amy

Ugly Fat Short Old Loser

Those are the words I see when I look at myself in the mirror.

Today was my 1-year anniversary at work. I sent out emails to co-workers who I thought had been good to me in the past year, thanking them for the support… yet not one replied.

I feel hurt and rejected. At work, I remind myself constantly to focus on doing the right thing.. But it seems no matter what I do it is never good enough, and I will never be accepted by my co-workers.

The words in Mike’s post gives me solace : “We need to be reminded together that we are passionately loved and accepted. We don’t have to prove anything or defend ourselves anymore…”
http://www.curbyalexander.net/family Curby

This really hits close to home. I was camping once with some guys from my church, and we were talking by the campfire. One of the guys asked everyone how we would use one or two words to describe ourselves. Without even thinking, I blurted “selfish prick.” Since I was with a bunch of churchy people, they looked at me in horror. You’re not supposed to swear in front of other churchy people, right? I even shocked myself because I have a pretty well-tuned church filter and can normally come up with a good Sunday school answer. The words echoed in my ears. I think God wanted me to hear for myself what I had been calling myself for the past 5 years, since I got married. I would never ever call another person a selfish prick (to his face, at least … another layer of hypocrisy), so why would I call myself this label hundreds of times per day? The enemy’s lies run deep …
JeannaB

When I saw this post I knew I couldn’t read it, so I ignored it for the first day. Then when I did read it (about three days ago) I couldn’t comment, not then. I had to put it away. The fact is, for most of my life I have been depressed. I know, a Christian living with depression is so very wrong. At least that is what I have come to understand. I have never seen anyone for it, mostly because I have no right to be depressed. I had a good childhood, was saved from never having to face combat during my time in the military, and have known very few “poor” days during my adulthood. But still, I struggle and the words you see carved into that young man’s neck could not even begin to adequately describe the depth of my self-loathing and hatred. So much of the time I despise my very existence and if I were not such a coward I would have been dead long ago. As a teen I tried slicing myself one time but did not feel the sense of release that usually comes of that. Instead I would take fists to my body until I could barely walk the next day. I do not know how to crawl out of the place I find myself in so often, it seems like as soon as I manage to grasp solid ground and feel happy again I slip back into the muck.

Bret

Do not believe the lie that there is something WRONG with depression. Get help. You don’t need to live in the hurt you’re feeling. Prayers for you tonight.

Kay

On days like today…
not good enough
unloved
no one cares
you are alone
unwanted
friendless
waste of time

Thankfully God has been reaffirming with me how much He loves me and that other people’s actions and words don’t need to matter as much as I let them.
http://johnathoneva.wordpress.com John Eva

It’s funny that you mention this. A little over a year ago now, I was looking in the mirror, and the horrible realization came over me that I’m not good enough. I have acne scarring you see, and it’s a physical reminder that on the inside I’m just as badly scarred, I’m messed up.
I did have a thought though, about a dream I once had. There was Jesus standing next to me by the mirror, and he asked, “What do you see?” I explained to him my physical appearance.
“No, I mean who do you think you are?” The mirror changed to an even uglier grotesque figure, I described this awful monster. It was my heart.
Jesus led me away from the mirror and said, “I see someone who long ago accepted me into their heart, and it doesn’t matter what people see, or what you see, it matters what my father sees. He sees me, because you have accepted me.
The longer you try to get people to like you, or the longer you spend agonizing over mistakes and scars, only lessens your ability to see yourself as a child of God.
My mistakes were paid for on the cross, and though I may have scars, both emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually, I remember that I’m supposed to reflect Christ, not myself.

Amy

Thank you for this post. It made me weep. It has touched my heart deeply and given me such comfort and peace.. God bless you

http://www.shatteredbits.blogspot.com R

Fake
Weak
Fat
Ugly
Unlovely

but for Grace.
And a God who loves the unlovable. Isaiah 43:1-11
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