Carlos Whittaker

May14

3 Thoughts On Breast Feeding And Magazine Covers

Posted by loswhit in Culture,Uncategorized

Time Magazine has an article on breast feeding in their new issue.
You can’t tell by the cover.
I just want to say 3 things.
1. This kid. He’s gonna be 13 one day. Just sayin you may want to start practicing your parenting for that season when this is plastered all over his locker.
2. You are no more a mother because you produce breast milk than you are a father because you had a good time that night.
3. To all the mothers out there who didn’t breastfeed for medical reasons or personal choice, I’m a product of the powder…The kid will be ok.
4. We breastfed 1 out of 3 of our kids. I’ll let you know the stats in about 10 years.

What do you guys think?
Does “mothering” have to do with feeding?
Los

Laura-Leigh

I felt awkward for the mailman having to see about 43574823 of these…and then having to deliver them.
Iman

Overall I think I like the 4th thought out of the “3 thoughts on breast feeding and magazine covers” that you mentioned. (I keed, I keed).
http://hollybirdswords.blogspot.com Hollybird

While I did not choose to feed this way (One used a bottle,the other was adopted at age 2 1/2), I see the beauty of breast feeding. However, I see it as a beautiful private moment between a mother and child. Not sure it’s for public gawking and picture taking. I think our society has gotten to the place where so little is sacred, and I believe this front cover exemplifies that. The title of this article gives the impression that if you are to be a good enough mom, you must do this. Trust me, in my line of work as a child psychiatric nurse, I know plenty of mothers who breast fed who are NOT good mothers at all!!

Stasi

I disagree that when I breastfeed it should be a “private moment”. People only think that b/c we have sexualized breasts. It’s sure as heck not private in Africa! (have you seen the movie Babies?) Nobody else is expected to eat “privately” so why should a baby be different? Because we aren’t used to thinking of breasts for their intended, miraculous purpose. Plain & simple. I don’t think it’s fair that someone who chooses to use a bottle can let their child eat at the table with her, but since I choose to breastfeed, I’m supposed to go hide in a bathroom stall with my kid. No thanks! I’m a proud public breastfeeder and I hope what I do will help normalize this VERY normal behavior even further.

Stasi

oh p.s. This cover does NOTHING to normalize breastfeeding. It hurts the cause and makes me sad. (and I’m currently nursing a 2 yr old who’ll probably go until at least 3; it’s not the age, but everything else about the photo)

Phronsie

“it’s not the age, but everything else about the photo”

Exactly!

Our youngest is 17 months and that’s the longest I’ve ever gone because the older two weaned themselves between 12 and 15 months.

Misty

I breastfeed my son, who is almost 8 months old. I plan to child-led wean, which means we’ll wean when he’s finished. I’m hoping that will be around 3 years of age. He was born 5.5 weeks early and I especially feel that the benefits of breastmilk to his brain are SO important. But I don’t think anybody is less of a mom if they don’t breastfeed, and actually found the headline very insulting. I mean, what if he weans himself at a 18 months, or even younger, and doesn’t even come close to 3 years? That doesn’t make me less of a mom.

So, no, I don’t think mothering has to do with feeding; however, as a mother I think it is our job to educate ourselves on things such as breastfeeding and car seats and other things such as that. And then it is our job to make a decision. And then we need to be confident in that decision, and let that be enough, and love that baby as much as we can for the rest of their lives. I’m happy and confident with my decision to pursue an attachment parenting lifestyle. It fits in with my instincts and with what I’ve learned in my job as a Therapeutic Day Treatment counselor. My baby sleeps in my bed, which allows me SO much more sleep than I’d get otherwise. He eats throughout the night as I sleep. I can’t imagine having to get up and prepare a bottle of formula in the middle of the night… it makes me tired to think about it. For me, breastfeeding is easier. The only inconvenience is pumping, and really, pumping means I get to take a break from work twice a day and read a book instead. So that’s really not inconvenient at all, except when I have way too much work to do.

God did give us breasts and the milk they can make for a reason. I do believe that it would be better for humanity as a whole if every child were breastfed; however, I have to be practical. There are reasons people can’t always breastfeed or that it would make too much stress for them as working mothers. (not everybody is as blessed to have a job that cooperates with my pumping needs as I do). And whatever the reason is, it’s fine. As long as the baby is fed and loved, everything will be just fine.

I was formula fed as well, btw.
April

I’m currently nursing my 4th baby, and I find this cover offensive. Just sayin’.
airlantiss

I am an advocate of breastfeeding. It has some great benefits to the children. I was only able to nurse my kids for a short period because my milk wasn’t rich enough. That being said both my kids where off the bottle by a year old and I think the same should apply to the breast. Your child will continue to rely on you for many things and your bond will still be strong and secure. If it is truly for health or nutritional reasons then pump the milk and give it in a sippy cup. Part of being a parent is guiding our children, even our young children, to independence or at least that is my take on it.

Misty

Attachment parenting is built on the belief that we let our children rely on us as they need it. They become independent, and we guide them to that, but we don’t push them away until they are ready. I’m not explaining it well… here you go… http://www.conscienceparenting.com/2012/05/11/the-attachment-parenting-paradox/

http://Leannthomas.com LeAnn

I liked your #2 thought. I was able to breast feed my middle daughter for a year and a half. Felt very successful after the crap I got for not being able to breast feed my first. Turns out, my breastfed baby is the one out of the 3 who has had many more health problems than the other two. I am healthy, so I try not to feel guilty and blame my milk (always something to feel guilty for…) but it showed me that I wasn’t abusive by using the powder for my other two, and that all the stuff you read isnt always right. Moms and Dads need to do what is best for their family, in the wisest and most loving way they can. It’s different for everyone.
http://gingersister.wordpress.com Bekki

Amen to #1!

My sister was breastfed longer than the rest of us, almost 3 years. However she had major food allergies, especially to milk and wheat, and it helped her immensely. I’m not opposed to breastfeeding longer, it just shouldn’t involve embarrassing your children. Keep it private if they’re going to be ridiculed.
layo24

Quite frankly I think it’s the mother’s prerogative on if she will and how long to breast feed. As I straddle both my Nigerian and American cultures, in Nigeria you wouldn’t even get a head turn. I think in the States people are overly squeamish about breast feeding in public which to me is ironic since we have no issues with almost naked Victoria Secret models. Nursing a child is beautiful and should be celebrated.
JBaker

When I became pregnant with my first child and found out that child was to be a boy I went out and bought Dr. Dobson’s book “Bringing up Boys”. In that entire book one thing stuck out more than any other and it was the line saying that as parents it is our job to raise adults, not children. Letting your kids be kids is important, but they have to become adults eventually and your job as a parent is to make them in to the best adults they can be. This attachment parenting thing seems so detrimental to that idea. No mothering is NOT about feeding. Although when my now 9 year old was younger the nutritionist at the WIC office seemed to think so because I was all but flat out called a bad mom for having a skinny kid. He is, by the way, the product of two parents that have been rather “petite” their entire lives!

The longest I nursed was 6 months and that was with my youngest. I was forced to stop nursing my daughter at 3 months because my job in the Army sent me to the field for training. I do not believe that serving my country made me a bad mother any more than it makes my husband (also a soldier) a bad father. By the way my daughter is currently the youngest level 4 gymnast on her team and is an A/B student so I’m thinking that the “powder” didn’t do much to harm her either! And all three of my kids are extraordinarily capable and have confidence in their abilities to be independent in most things even at the ages of 9, 6, and 5. I, for one, am vehemently against the idea of this “attachment” parenting and think it is going to cause an entire group of dependent, incapable “adults”.

http://www.leavesofmytree.blogspot.com Whitney Canales

I attachment-parent my children and can say from first hand experience that it is not detrimental at all. Studies show that attachment-parented children are very independent and successful later on in life. They learn when they are babies that they can trust. My two year old was VERY attached when he was little. He wouldn’t go to the church nursery for two years. He breastfed ALL the time (I let him as much as he wanted to) until he was about 18 months old and I had to finally wean him due to being pregnant with baby #2, and we co-sleep to this day. He is as extremely confident almost-3-year-old little boy who will go up to anyone and starts conversations, ask other children to play, and is very outgoing and friendly. I am very satisfied with how attachment parenting has worked out for our family. It’s not for everyone, and of course it certainly is NOT the only way to raise grounded, balanced, healthy children, (and that is where the problem lies, when people imply that it is the only way to parent) but it is *certainly* NOT detrimental at all. To say so is just offensive to those who practice it.

http://ourfamilye.wordpress.com MeEliz

This cover is so embarrassing! I completely agree about how one day this kid is gonna be all kinds of made fun of for this picture.
I don’t judge the lady if that’s how she wants to raise her kid, but do you really need to put something like that all over the world. Frankly, I think this picture is more graphic than most swimsuit issues.
I feel sorry for all the moms and dads that have to explain this one to junior and juniorette in the grocery line….
TereJo

As a mother who adopted and who went through chemo therapy at the time my adopted daughter was born – so breast feeding was most definitely OUT – I find this whole thing rather judgmental and offensive. I had no choice in the matter. Neither do thousands of other women whose bodies don’t allow them the miracle of pregnancy, childbirth, and breast feeding. OR the thousands of young (under 40) women diagnosed every year with breast cancer.
I am no less a mom because I couldn’t breast feed. I don’t judge the choices others make for their families and children. We each have to do what is right for us. It is not my place to judge what other moms do. I just wish they would stop judging me.
I haven’t read the article, I might get around to it. As a busy mom of a pre-schooler, I have to make choices what I take time to read. This isn’t even on my radar!
Andrew P

Sadly, many of our freedoms don’t have an “anti-stupidity” clause built in. Fine, breastfeed. Or don’t. Breast feed in public? well, if you do, don’t expect cheers if you do it in the middle of a restaraunt without at least covering things up somewhat.

Breastfeeding at 3? My first thought is that you’re damaging the kid more then helping. (poor kid is probably gonna have wind up with attachment issues — sorry for the pun)

Misty

I’d like to point out that the worldwide norm for breastfeeding is anywhere between 2 and 7. So, no, I don’t think it’s damaging to breastfeed a 3 year old. Though I’d agree it’s damaging to do it on a magazine cover. lol. Most breastfed 3 year olds don’t even breastfeed more than 1 or 2 times a day, usually at bedtime or in the morning when they get up.
http://www.leavesofmytree.blogspot.com Whitney Canales

Damaging at three? How so? Most children around the world wean around age three. It’s completely normal. But here in the states, breasts are over-sexualized and so we think it’s weird. But it’s not damaging. I would rather my three year old see this photo than half the photos on the covers of other magazines.

Candace Rochford

I agree with all 4 of your 3 thoughts!! Especially #1! I hope all that breast milk builds some strong biceps, cause he’s gonna need them in a few years….
http://andygill.org andy gill

is this for real…
mary

so a mom who breastfeeds her baby 20 times a day is the same amount of parent as a sperm donor???
http://joax.nl Arend

The cover is kind of rude.. but still i think it’s quite good.. people should think some more before they put their kid on powdered milk.. send them away for 90% of the time to daycare.. hook them up to a brainwashing box [TV] and learn them to eat the most ridiculous crap on earth..

none of these things are as they where intended.. so it’s a serious issue which should be addressed

on top of that breast feeding lowers the chances to get breast cancer considerably

it’s a blessing that we have the possibility to use powder milk in cases where the mother is seriously not able to feed..

anyway.. back to nature y’all
I’m glad TIME puts things like this on their cover.. big up! wake this sleeping society
Brandy

Im so tempted to show this to my kids every time they whine about getting their own drink…”Could be worse my loves, mama could provide all your drinks AND show all your friends…”
JP

Hmmm, if I took a picture like this and posted it, I’d probably go to jail. Just sayin….
http://www.rickknowles.net Rick

The cover is in poor taste and inflammatory, but that’s how it is: be outrageous = get noticed. Nobody’s buying the magazine or talking about Time if there’s a cover photo of a kid with a bottle in his mouth.

The reaction to the cover exposes how twisted a modern, industrialized America has become. What was once normal and natural (extended nursing) is now considered weird. What was once unthinkable (artificial feeding of a lab-created chemical concoction) is now considered normal. My family: one kid extended nursing, one kid formula fed.
http://windowsandpaperwalls.wordpress.com/ Cathy

Huge fan of breastfeeding…did it for 14 months with each of my boys (they never used formula.)

I find this cover completely offensive…both the picture, and the caption. Of course, they were intended to titillate and to sell magazines, so…mission accomplished.

I have no problem with bf in public (although I was always discreet), but I would NEVER have exploited my boys in this way.

The ONLY argument that could be made for nursing a child who’s this old is for “bonding” purposes (and I don’t buy that argument, but whatever.) However, this is not a “come snuggle with Mommy” moment. I seriously doubt that anyone nurses their child in that position. Can you imagine the photo shoot – the directions the child was receiving from the photographer and from his mother?

For shame, Time.

http://ragamuffinpc.com PC

Please don’t say tit on this blog.

http://windowsandpaperwalls.wordpress.com/ Cathy

Lindsey

I think our society doesn’t encourage breastfeeding enough. With that said, I know a lot of women who had to use formula who felt guilty because other moms or mommy groups made her feel bad about it. Why don’t we moms just fight the good fight together? I’m just starting this whole parenting thing and could use some wisdom on how to raise up a respectful, independent, smart, compassionate, Jesus loving child. I DON’T CARE if you bf or formula fed your child. Share with me how you got them to get along with their siblings. Share with me how you got them to respect you and other people. Share with me how you managed for them to feel secure in themselves. That doesn’t happen when they’re on the boob or on the bottle so I could give two cents about how you fed your baby!
http://somewiseguy.com ThatGuyKC

This story came up on the news while I was hanging out w/ some guys on Friday night.

Basically we all wondered 2 things:
1. Where were the dads?
2. There’s no way this side of Hades we’d let this fly in our homes and neither would our wives (we asked them).

Some stuff is just wrong. And it’s okay to say so.

Bethany

What specifically are you saying is wrong? Extended breast feeding?

I agree with whoever said that the most offensive thing about the cover is the headline. Ridiculous.

http://www.leavesofmytree.blogspot.com Whitney Canales

Nothing “wrong” with extended breastfeeding. Just because it is not for some (most) people does not mean it is wrong for others. The health benefits of breastmilk doesn’t magically cut off at 6 months or 1 year of age. The World Health Organization recommends at least two years of breastfeeding, and then as long as mother and child mutually want to continue.

http://carolesmithturner.com Carole Turner

I blogged about this on Friday. I have seen basically what I said about it said again on several mom blogs. We don’t need this kind of competition educing crap, mothering already seems like a huge contest as it is.

http://www.carolesmithturner.com/2012/05/time-magazine-breastfeeding-cover.html
http://mattandsarabethstout.blogspot.com Sara Beth

I breastfed my first kid (10 weeks pregnant now with the 2nd) b/c it saved us lots of money! However, I know it isn’t for everyone. Some people just can’t produce enough milk, some it just isn’t convenient, and some have depression that keeps them from feeding. Whatever the reason, it is a choice that a mom has to make that is best for her. I liked breastfeeding, but was so happy when it was over. I look forward to breastfeeding baby 2 if that is possible, but I would use formula if that was what was best. Breastfeeding does not make a mother. I really wish moms would quit throwing each other under the bus for stupid reasons and instead encourage mothers to be the best mother they can no matter what.
kimberly cunningham

Just think, our cavewoman ancestors probably did breast feed for many years as a nutritional supplement as food was hard to come by and few and far between. Breast milk is an excellent source of nutrition for a baby, especially during that first year. When a child begins eating table food, he/she doesn’t need as much breast milk or formula to live on. I think that once a child gets teeth and begins eating table food, that breast feeding tapers off. If a mom wants to continue to give breast milk to a developing child, maybe pumping it and then putting it into a cup would be a more sensible choice . There are many cultures today that breast feed their children for many years, but there is a limit on available foods usually, so that is the main form of nutrition.
http://www.meetbrentdouglas.com Brent

It’s all good parenting until, when reading it for the laughs, you come across a grown man looking for lactating women in the “Casual Encounters” section on Craigslist. I’m just sayin’…
http://ragamuffinpc.com PC

that kid is not 3 years old. He’s just 36 months. So its okay.
Anna

I’m currently breastfeeding my second, but I’m no breastfeeding nazi. You do what works for you. What I do know is that when breastfeeding goes beyond the initial period of time where it is essential to keep your child alive and healthy, it becomes less about the child and more about the mother.
I’ve been watching this debate closely, it’s fascinating, but what I particularly find fascinating is the conservative view of breastfeeding people have in the US compared to Australia (where I am now) or Britain (where I had baby number one) Perhaps if the culture was more accepting of breastfeeding then the extremists wouldn’t feel the need to be so vocal?
http://www.leavesofmytree.blogspot.com Whitney Canales

Nothing wrong with the cover. Plenty of women breastfeed older children. It’s really only in America that it is uncommon. There is nothing sexual about the photo, therefore it doesn’t bother me. People need to get over it.

But yeah, obviously if a woman didn’t breastfeed, it does NOT make her less of a mom. The tagline offends me — but not that photo. The tagline is just more fuel for the ridiculous “Mommy Wars.”
http://www.emandasays.com EmandaSays

I have 3 things to say about this:

1. I find the Time cover offensive & detached.

2. Breastfeeding is a beautiful, intimate & nurturing shared act between a mother & her baby. However, I plead 1 Corinthians 10:23 on this. Attempting to prove a point with shock value does not in itself validate the point.

3. I completely agree with your #1-3.
L.

Breastfeed or not – it’s up to the woman. There’s something that’s just a little too porno about that cover, though.
Brad

That kid is ruining the shot.

http://www.calebgordon.com Caleb Gordon

http://www.calebgordon.com Caleb Gordon

The cover was done to ‘shock folks’ and generate big sales. Which it did. This one, and the Obama ‘Gay President’ cover have done quite well with creating ‘BUZZ’

In terms of breast feeding I’m not against it. I did not breast feed (I’m picky…still am to this day.)

In terms of breasts in general. As a married man…
I am thankful God made them. Just sayin’
http://www.pearmama.com Pearmama

People breastfeed toddlers, this is nothing new. As usual, the media takes something that is perfectly normal and natural and it perverts it and puts in on the cover of a magazine with an inflammatory title. Stoopid, TIME. I blogged about this on Friday and included some really awesome photos of breastfeeding around the world, in the proper context!!

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/5112012-hype-free-breastfeeding-around-the-world/
Jean

I’m a grandma who did the attachment parenting/family bed/child-led weaning thing, because at the time I sincerely believed it was the best thing for our children. I would probably do the same if I had it to do over again. However, as years pass, the importance of it all seems to become less and less. Just love your children the best way you know how through all the stages of their lives and no matter how they turn out. Some things just aren’t worth fussing about in the long run.

And in spite of the way I parented, I found the Time cover to be sensational and ridiculous.
Angela

I get what this magazine was trying to do. I really do. And I think there is a desperate need for people to start understanding breastfeeding. When I nursed, I felt like it was a taboo subject that I was never allowed to bring up, talk about, or admit to. If I wanted to nurse in public or with family I was “encouraged” to sit in the car or take leave to another area of the building. It is icky to people and their faces don’t hide it. I dealt with the uncomfortableness for the first year of my daughter’s life. When I was done, there was such a relief to go back to being a normal person. But it shouldn’t be this way. Like I said, I get what this magazine was trying to do. But I didn’t feel that it accomplished it’s goals.
People are already uncomfortable enough…this probably just pushed them over the edge. Parents face judgment from other parents so much that it is just sickening. Do what is best for your kid and leave everyone else to do the same. Except dirt bags that harm their children. Definitely pass judgment on them.
And I would just like to add that I was unable to nurse my son but I nursed my daughter for a year. I don’t love one more than the other. I don’t have more of an attachment with one than the other. I didn’t enjoy one babyhood more than the other. They both get sick…usually at the same time. They both throw tantrums. And they both still pee in their pants occasionally. Both of my children are healthy and happy and are completely infatuated with me. There is nothing wrong with following your own instincts with your own children.
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Phronsie

Breastfed all three of our kids but I think the photo Time used was done as a shock factor thing. And the title is just ridiculous. It adds more fuel to the “mommy wars” going on (you know: stay home vs working, breastfeed vs formula, etc). I’m all for extended breastfeeding for as long as mom is comfortable (most of the ones I know stop well before kindergarten age) but… Time could have done a much better job of the whole thing.
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