Carlos Whittaker

Jul28

Your Six Year Old Will Not Remember Your Problems…

Posted by loswhit in fatherhood

My 6 year old looked at me in the eye today and asked me if I would go out on a date with her.
I told her yes.
In the back of my head all I knew is that I have a flight to catch and 55 phone calls to make.
2 hours later there are 55 people mad at me for not calling them back and I am late to my flight…
But she…

…is in love with me and they never will be.

When you work for yourself, are behind on the mortgage, have sickness in the family, have a client waiting for something, are a lonely stay at home mom, or any other “grown up” problems…
Remember…
Your six year old will not remember those problems, just that her dad said “I’m busy”.
Los

http://www.calebgordon.com Caleb Gordon

OK OK OK dang LOS, I’ll take my daughter on a date…shut it. oh wait…maybe that’s the holy spirit talking…OK, I’m listening!

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

Todd

I’m shutting down the computer and heading home.

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

Do it.

http://www.ryangrammatico.wordpress.com Ryan Grammatico

Los,
As a dad of three girls (ages 6,8, and 9), I printed this post out and am keeping it in my office as a reminder. Hands down, in my opinion, your best written post, EVER! Thanks for your heart!

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

Thanks for reading man…

http://www.kyletroop.com Kyle Troop

Good call dude. For sure. Good call.

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

The call has been made. yes. and to you as well. Did you get my VM?

http://www.ricianne.com patricia

sucker punch. thanks a lot.

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

For me too…

http://www.mohan37.com mo

Awesome man! I remember what u said on la ink and am pumped to see you modeling that changed behavior for others to learn from. For me to learn from!

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

Ese…

Laney

Absolutely beautiful! and so right. Children want nothing but our time. What we do and how we interact with our children shape them for a life time. =)

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

yup.

http://www.tonywheeler.net Tony Wheeler

Los,

Beautiful reminder..About lost it today when my daughter was flipping out because she wanted to wear her dress backwards. She is sick, so reallly whiny. Kinda like me right now. She asked later if I was mad at her. I told her no, I’m mad at myself and I love you. She hugged me. I have a lot to learn from her!

Thanks, bro!

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

We should all dress backwards every once in a while

http://www.DirtyRootsRevolution.com Ryan Mifflin

I remind myself of this so many times. But there are still so many times I feel like my business is justified. Or will be quick.

Thank you for this necessary reminder!

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

It’s always ONE MORE EMAIL

http://www.DirtyRootsRevolution.com Ryan Mifflin

And what does it all mean anyway, right? Nothing compared to that little angel Thanks again for this.

http://brandondivine.com Brandon

Ouch!
That hit me where it hurts.
I agree w/ Ryan. Best post ever.

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

Thanks man. LETS HANG SOON

http://www.facebook.com/samueljohnmusic Samuel John

Los,
I don’t know you, and I haven’t really listened to your music… yet.

But, being a worship leader and an online marketer I RSS your blog.

Dude… You have it. You have the most important key to being a leader: priorities. I love how easily it was for you to put your daughter above some silly phone call.

Mad love man… keep up the good stuff.

~Sam

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

thanks man.

http://myspace.com/jermrocks jeremyradio

i just took my dog for a walk. she loves me.
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Leslie

Just talking with a friend about my lack of “quality” time with my girls. This hits home for me. I want my girls to remember “dates” with their mom, and not mom sleeping or working all the time. Thanks for this awesome post! Gonna make that date!

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com Los

do it!!!

http://longsleevesandchucks.com Michelle

It’s not just when she’s 6. Yesterday, my dad took time out of his busy schedule to run an errand with me just because I was stressed and upset. It made my day. And I’m 24.

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com loswhit

Now that is amazing

http://www.laurajeancolle.blogspot.com Laura Jean

I am a daddy’s girl through and through and we are very close. Major part of that, is because of our dates growing up. Every month, since I could remember, me and dad would go to dinner and usually end up at some bookstore or the movie no one else wanted to see in the family. I will NEVER forget that. And even now, 22 and moved out, I still have daddy dates. They are worth it!

(oh, and my mom would go out with my brothers. that was a good idea too!)

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com Los

Good to hear!

MJT

My “kids” are 31 and 27 and the best days i have is when I get to spend it with them doing whatever, and they enjoy it still!
http://www.calebgordon.com Caleb Gordon

I hope you don’t mind, I reposted this, gave you props for it too…thanks man!
http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

As a single guy this is hard for me to understand. But as I read this I am reminded of all the times my dad went to my games and always took time for me.

Honestly, I can be that pushy guy that is looking for a response (and a phone call but now I understand you have more important things to do. And for that I can never be frustrated or pushy.

Choose to Cheat

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com Los

Ha. Soon my friend…soon.

http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

All good
I understand

http://www.melakamin.com Mela Kamin

we can never have too many reminders of this … thanks for sharing your sweet girl, her determination and your love for her & devotion to family
Mishababy

man…..now THAT was a 2′x4′!!

Hope I did ok. my 20 year old son still likes to joke with and hug on me and my 18 year old daughter still hugs and lays with her head in my lap when we’re on the couch.
http://www.tasfa.blogspot.com Beth

You rock!
Jenna

Reminds me of all my dad did with me and for me, even though he ALWAYS fell asleep playing Barbie’s
Thanks God Bless
Art

Thanks for the punch in the gut. I constantly need to remind myself of this.
http://www.ryanshaughnessy.wordpress.com Ryan

Thank you for encouraging me with this

-A future father
http://tymn.wordpress.com Tymn

Great words man – wish more parents (especially fathers would do the same). Simple things like that will go a long way toward keeping girls from trying to get affection and acceptance from stupid boys.

Thanks for reminding us of the importance of this – there’s not much worse than when I hear myself tell my son “Not right now” or “I will after I…” I usually do a pretty good job of giving him time even if it means putting something else off or being late, but “usually…pretty good” isn’t good enough.
Christina Ellis

You’re absolutely right! I remember all the special times my dad took me on dates. I only remember one instance of him saying he was too busy. He apologized and said he never wanted to say that ever again. Now that I’m a mother, I hope my daughter never feels that Mommy doesn’t have time for her.
http://www.1sizedoesntfitall.com Dawn (mom2girlsnboy)

It is very hard. But I really want to try to start having a day where I do something with one of my children once a month, just me and them, something they want to do. Also my husband can do this as well.
http://www.tanyaloca.com Tanya

I agree that this is your best post yet. It reminded me of all the dates that I had with my dad. Movies, coffee, people watching while drinking coffee and laughing like crazy. I also saw that this is the reason why I never looked towards any other man for love other than the man I am married to now. My husband is my first and only boyfriend. And I think my dad played a good part in that.
http://www.wherehegoes.wordpress.com Jenn

This is certainly awesome. I’m 24 and texted my dad the other day, “we need a sushi date” Saturday came and a much needed date took place. It may not have happened when I was a kid, but it does.
http://mrsfawhittaker.wordpress.com Lita aka Grandma

How did you learn to be such a sensitive Dad. I don’t remember teaching you. Love you, Babe.

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com Los

Ha. It’s in the blood mama

http://www.gorgeousminute.blogspot.com Liz Lee

I can relate to your daughter’s desire to hang out with her Daddy (even though I’m 27!)— I love it when my parents make extra time for me even though I know how busy life can be! This post challenges me to decide to put THEM (and my sibs and my friends!) first sometimes. Even though I’m up to my neck in the thick of it! Thanks!
http://livingmotherhood.wordpress.com kalla

Thanks for the GREAT reminder!! I think for me I get so caught up with what HAS to get done that my children sometimes become second! Thanks!
Leila

As the mother of two wonderful women – I have to say I agree with the fact that children are more important than anything else we ever do and they remember.
Courtney

I’m under no impression that you are a perfect dad but saying yes to your daughter was the perfect response in every way. May more dads realize that actions backing up the words are what make the words ‘I love you’ believable.
http://christinacd.blogspot.com/ Christina

WOW amazing.. nothing like making their day.. Even as a mom those dates are important.. with both my boys and my girl…

thanks
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Randy

Thanks for this Los. I had an extremely rough day where changes in what company I am working for will be happen this week. A nice reminder that my little boy makes everything all better
http://allenarnn.wordpress.com/ Allen Arnn

This week my 12-year-old daughter wrote Debbie and me an anniversary card. It said “Thanks for spending time with us even with all your church work.” She drew a clock with probably 20 tick marks for church, church, church, church, church, church, church, church etc etc … and only two or three tick marks for “us”. She meant it gratefully for the time I do have with them, but for me that clock was a disturbing picture. I have to do better.

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com Los

wow

http://joniruhs.wordpress.com Joni Ruhs

I was just talking with another mom friend about this the other day. Both of us have to work hard to keep our mouths shut when we’d love to unload on the kids “do you know what I have to go through everyday?!”. They don’t care. Nor should they. That’s our job. Good post. Very well said.
Kevin H

I’m reading Calvin Miller’s “Into the Depths of God” and I think this post of yours fits very well with the chapter I just read on eliminating the hustle and bustle of our lives.

I guess I’m supposed to get this message….thanks!
Lita-NJ

My dad’s excuse was ALWAYSs “tired and worked a long day”. Your right, you never forget that!

Good Job, Los! These are the moments and in a blink of an eye….well, I think you know the rest.
http://marymind.wordpress.com Mary Flanagan Taylor

Love it!
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http://www.adesperateseeker.wordpress.com Jeremy Harper

Los,

Read a book a long time ago (8 yrs) called “What A Difference a Daddy makes” by Kevin Leman(sp)and it was all about the Daddy Daughter realtionship. And the #1 thing he said was to “date your daughter now because someone else will later”!! That floored me, so all that to say this to every dad of a little girl… DATE HER and show her how she is SUPPOSED to be treated!

Great job man!
http://www.loranlichty.com Loran Lichty

Word!
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Lanna

You’re absolutely right! More likely than not we remember the.”I’m too tired,” and the “not now” comments. I remember the dad that wasn’t there. It still stings that I didn’t experience the closeness of a dad that cared enough to be there for his kids.

Keep up it up & keep telling the masses, as long as one gets the message, a seed is planted!

I’ll say it again you’re kiddos are lucky to have you!
http://herbhalstead.me Herb Halstead

Right on! I remember my daughter’s 12th birthday. I was steeped in my career. As I watched “my little girl” I realized that sooner than I wanted to accept it, she will be off to college. 2/3 of her life with me were gone. And I had blown those 12 years. I woke up and put my career below my family, and God has blessed that choice.
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Stacy

Just wanted to say thanks for showing how much you love your children.

I also wanted to share that my 8 year old son is a big fan. He listens to Rain Down and Jesus Saves over and over on his Ipod. I love having him sing your songs, hiding God’s truth in his heart. Thanks so much!
http://www.ironcookamerican.com Iron Cook Carl

This post is awesome. I would like permission to reprint this on my site. I have four children and this post really took me aback. I’m not someone who ignores them or makes them second to other things yet it still meant a lot to me to read this. Our children grow up so fast so we need to cherish all the time we can spend with them. Please email me if it is okay to reprint your post.
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http://neverbeenherebefore.blogspot.com Stephanie

Taking your daughter on a date teaches her wonderful things about the way she should be treated on a real date 10 years from now. It will really help her now what kind of man she should marry. What a wonderful gift to give her!
Will Rieske

“Sure, let’s schedule it for tomorrow.”
Easy enough.
yi ling

Hi Carlos, since chancing on your site on a random surf last week, I haven’t stopped returning. Love this post especially ‘cos it sums up everything that my dad is to me; we have a beautiful papa-daughter relationship, and to witness the same love in the lives of other people is just wonderful. It’s like a snippet of what it is to be loved by our Father God – how amazing!
me

We can REALLY learn selfishness from little kids. Forget that an adult juggles countless issues every day, the liitle kid just says I want it ALL & I want it NOW & somhow YOU end up feeling guilty. Well how about explaining to said little kids that the adult world is run on compromise, & that sometimes they’re not the most important thing in everyone’s world.
oceana

I came across your page whilst stumbling, have no idea who you are and have never heard your music (which I will remedy!). I have never commented anywhere before but just felt compelled to say WELL DONE YOU – I am a single transgendered parent with a sometimes very difficult pubescent 11 year old daughter, life is precious and love is fragile and I think we all need to reality check every once in a while, your post displayed a perspective which I think is becoming rarer and rarer in this dog eat dog world – you have very succinctly stated what is important and it warms my soul to read it – Thankyou
http://www.igobogo.com Holly

Very awesome words & a great reminder! Thanks for sharing. I’m glad I stumbled upon this post today.
Nikki

Love that there are Dad’s that feel this way. I know that I am accussed of living my life for my children, but they are the ones that make my life worth living.
http://www.jonathanhasson.com Jonathan

Los,
You have gut punched me with this post! So much so, I had to pass on the message with my own thoughts over on my own blog.

Dang, to borrow from our friend Isaiah, “I am undone!”

Thanks for keeping it real.
http://www.caitlynnicholas.blogspot.com Caitlyn Nicholas

Beautiful, just love it
francis

Great comments!
http://www.crowninglotus.com Juliea

I love this. Short and to the point with SO much to say. I don’t know how often or how easy it is to say “later” to the kids (I have 3 of them – 13, 8 and 11 months), but it’s going to be a little bit harder now because of YOUR article. The power of word is amazing, thanks for sharing. I’m going to do something special with them today instead of what I was going to do!
Jen

THANK YOU!
Shutting the laptop and gonna crawl around on the floor with my little one.
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KCsun

I am a father of 3 kids 8,5,3. My 3 year old has spent probably 6 – 7 months of his life in hospitals to date. Talk about being behind the 8 ball with working full time being the primary provider and trying to emotionally explain why mom and dad don’t spend a lot of time with them. A date is awesome and will make all the difference to my 8 year old daughter who is mom when mom is not around. Even my 5 year old son need a “date” playing mini golf or just wrestling at home. The thing I always come back to is no one ever said on their death bed “I wish I could have just worked one more day……” That is why they call it work not fun.
Mackenzie

Thank you so much for posting this… we all get caught up in the hum-drum of life… our children are our reminders that everything will be okay and that “i’m busy” is unacceptable.
This is beautiful! Thanks again!
http://jake-weiss.com Jake

Awesome! I’m going to get off of this machine right now.
Paul

Thanks, I needed that. I have MS and have been very behind lately. I have forgotten that the kids need Dad to give them time too.
Hattie

I loved this post….it is so true and your daughter is a very lucky girl. I’ve linked this page to all my friends with kids.

Much love to you and yours.
http://www.picklebums.com katepickle

Fabulous…. such an important thing I needed to be reminded of. thank you.
http://mclive.sexych.net/ ??????

yokattadesuyo
http://supopi.blogspot.com Tiffany

I hope I can look back and remember this post every time I feel like I just don’t have time. Great post, thanks.
http://www.ronitbaras.com/ Family Matters

Well, at least someone has their priorities right. At a time when most parents are away from their kids, you are a spot of light and inspiration.

She’d better remember this when you’re old. If not, keep this post, just in case
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Sarah

My 6 year old is in watching Tom and Jerry.
I am wiping away the tears and going to snuggle for a little while.
I can already feel my Monday job stress melting away, even if only a little bit.
http://www.steppingstonestogether.com Erika Burton

I cannot agree more. I just blogged about the need for meaningful bonding opportunities with my children and 101 things you gotta do before you’re 12. Thought you might want to take a look. Family time rocks! You cannot go backwards only forward. Enjoy each day.
They grow up too quickly!
Erika
aylisa

this is a great post very sincere and honest we never think how busy our lives are until we look back at every thing we missed
http://blog.marioandwindy.com Mario

Dude…StumbleUpon brought be to this post. I am so glad it did. What a great message. I love it and am thankful for it.

Have a blessed day!
http://www.spartanmoving.com/ San Francisco Movers

…is in love with me and they never will be.

Awesome.Really enjoyed this.
http://www.dirtygirlsministries.com Crystal Renaud

reading this makes me so envious of your girls… and so happy for them at the same time. it’s not always easy to choose them… thank you for doing the hard work.
http://www.arsgratia.com Jason Blair

I needed to hear this. Work is what it is, seminary is what it is, but my little ones will only be little once. Homework and everything else can wait…
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http://http Life In A Pink Fibro

I wish I’d read this yesterday. Was a shocking, shouty day and my two boys suffered the fallout. I felt terrible. Had I read this first, things may have gone differently. Thank you.
http://www.myhydroponicgardening.com Mathew

I have 5, 4, and 2 year old boys and have been working from home since the first was born. If I had $1 for every time I told them “I’m busy” I probably could retire now.

I don’t know about you all . . . but every time I say it, I cringe inside. Deep down we really know that we *could* spare the 5 minutes it would take to play with them and make their whole day.

The work can wait for 5 minutes . . . my children cannot. Thanks Loswhit!
Pat

You are on point! You’re a great dad.
Susan

A wonderful friend who is a devoted, Catholic father of 12 children says, “Our children are the only gifts we have on Earth that can follow us to Heaven, and we intend to see all of our children there one day.”
Susan

What a wonderful heartfelt moment with your daughter. Thank you for sharing.

If I may share a moment ….I recently lost my 86 yr old Mother and miss her every day. I find myself remembering (regretting) those times that she would call and ask me to come over for coffee or watch tv with her …and I said, “not today,Mom …I’m busy.”
(tears)
http://auntmeggie.blogspot.com Megan

that is beautiful. it made me a little jealous and happy and sad and excited and I like when I get to feel all of those things at once. thank you
Stacey

I am 30, a single mother of 2 boys and think I will forever be sad that my dad always chose everything else over time with me.

I will not make the same choice with my boys, because I won’t let them become fathers that choose “busy” over their family.
Olivia

I am 17 years old and the daughter of the best dad in the world, no doubt. When I think back to when I was much younger and even up to the present, my dad always made time for me. My parents recently divorced and my dad has had to become both my mom and dad in a lot of areas in my life, something I didn’t think he could do, but he has been doing a way better job than my mom ever has. He’s always been there for me and makes sure I get every opportunity available to persue anything I want, any sport, club,activity, any interest I have, he would take off work and drive for a month to get me there if he had to, even if we both knew I wouldn’t pass a single height in my pole vault competition and get last place in my snowboard competition. You know he’s done a good job when it took me many years to even realize I had such an amazing dad, I thought everyones dads did all those things. Each time I’ve been faced with something negative, like peer pressure, I can easily refuse because of my relationship with my dad. I know that sounds weird, but I know that since he’s always done everything for me, everything I do should be for him too and I don’t want to disappoint him with bad life choices. This really is the best advice a dad can get. Make time for your daughter, no matter what her age is.
http://www.livelaughloveliquor.com livelaughloveliquor

Indeed true. As a mom with 19 years experience, I can tell you that 10 or 20 years from the corporate mucky-mucks will never remember the meeting you were late for, or the unanswered call, etc. but your child will remember (and be effected by) every moment you could have had with her/him and chose not to).

Your daughter is a lucky girl.
http://mamasbagoftricks.blogspot.com Lian

It is so easy to lose sight of what is important. The rewards of being a good parent is not immediate, like that of a paycheck at the end of the month. I like your post. It is important to realize the impact we are having on our children.
http://bstrung.etsy.com Gabrielle

This was such a nice piece to read. I believe that this should be shared with all fathers who sometimes need to check their priorities.
http://www.themommyinsider.com Alicia

I am with you on your statement that “Your six year old will not remember those problems, just that her dad said “I’m busy”.” I have worked from for over 10 years and I catch myself telling my two kids that “I’m too busy” way too often. I need to work on that because they won’t remember the problems but they will remember that mommy was always too busy.
http://fnf fnf

Hi,
Kids are the most fabulous things that we escrow (we do not belong) from god to raise up like a “real human”.
They are like angels and have the ability to see what we don’t see (hear,feel). We have so much to learn from them. We must trace and watch them instead of directing them according to our misunderstandings and truths. I have two kids 7 year old boy and 10 year old girl. I have learned these just a few months ago and I trying to live according to this. They teached me to live every moment like a miracle of god. We have a lot of things to learn from them before they get the dirtiness of life.
http://mommajorje.blogspot.com Momma Jorje

Linked this post in my Sunday Surf this week. I hope you don’t mind. Great post!
Jaime

you cannont be anymore right!!! i love this and i wish more ppl would think like this! there would be more happy children in the world if their parents would’ve just taken that moment!
http://searchcnbstvonyoutube Duce

This should be handed out to fathers at birth, inspiring and an important reminder, thank you.

I have kept this in mind since I saw this and it has helped so many times to pull my head out of the sand long enough to think how she would feel about the situation sat in front of me full of excitement and awe.

I’ll never let her down again and she has you to thank for that spark of inspiration.

Enjoy life,

Peace
Lisa Currier

Amazing and true. Gave me a whole new insight on some things. Thanks so much!
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Beth

As the mother of four girls(11,9,7, and 3), I cannot tell you how important it is to carve out special time with your kids. I just lost my own mom to pancreatic cancer and it is an enormous hole in our lives. Make the time, because you can never get it back when it’s gone. Thanks for sharing your caring ways with all of us.
http://www.singleparentmeet.com Gretta

You are so right! I always forget this and think that I’m doing the best for my kids if I just keep working as hard as I can. That’s crap. I need to work hard, but my kids need their mom more than anything. I need to make time. If I never sleep again, I need to make time.
Jessica Jewell

Very true And your daughter is beautiful <3
http://www.goldenbayrelocation.com San Francisco Movers

Truly touching. As a soon to be, self employed father this short post could not have been any better. Words of wisdom my man. Thanks.
http://www.thankful101.com Trina

Love the simplicity — and the non-preachy vibe — of your post. I remember every time my father was too busy, too tired, too annoyed for me and my brothers.
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